Can You Tell Your Boyfriend How To Dress?

Women are often more fashion conscious than their partners, and often try to make their man dress their best. This is because women want to see their man looking as handsome and sexy as possible. Sometimes a certain fit of t-shirt or jeans can make him look this way, so they want him to wear it.
Miley likes Liam's outfit here.

Popstar Miley Cyrus tells Liam Hemsworth that he is not allowed to wear polo shirts because she doesn’t like the way they look on him. Is this acceptable? After all, she just wants him to look his best.

However, if your boyfriend started telling you what you can and cannot wear it would most probably cause an argument.

So if your boyfriend doesn’t dress in a style you find appealing, or worse than that has not real style at all in his wardrobe, is it acceptable for you to decide what he will and will not wear? Do you think your boyfriend would mind you dressing him up like your own man-barbie?

Samantha's August Movie Pick: Savages

A great looking case
Savages tell the story of pot growing best buddies who fight against the Mexican drug rulers to save the gorgeous O, played by Blake Lively. The Gossip Girl princess is in a three-way relationship with the best buddies, Ben and Chon: played by Aaron Johnson and Taylor Kitsch. After Ben and Chon refuse to sign a deal that would give the Mexican drug rulers huge percentage of their profits, the rulers kidnap O, and tell her protectors that they are going to abuse her until they can come up with enough money to buy her back. Trying to kill people for revenge, and raise $13 million comes as a challenge to the friends, and they go through various hardships to eventually save their treasured girlfriend.

This movie was a big deal for Lively as an actress, as it includes two lengthy sex scenes and shows her playing a totally different character to what people are used to seeing.

The ending of the movie faced criticism because of its easy way out approach. With a dark storyline, some bloody scenes and a beautiful cast, Savages is interesting and believable, and worth a visit to go see at your nearest movie theatre. Check out the times and places in New York.

Is Your Relationship Normal?

(Originally appeared in The Huffington Post, July 30, 2012.)

Everyone wants to be in a romantic relationship, and everyone has an idea in their head of what the perfect relationship should be. However, most of the time, we end up in relationships that never resemble what we thought we would have, and we start to wonder whether or not this is okay. Usually, the answer surfaces when we compare our relationship to other people's and try to figure out if ours is better, worse or the same. Of course, we can never make this determination because one never knows what goes on behind closed doors and what is actually normal. If you are wondering if your relationship is normal, here are some pointers so you can figure that out...

1. Relationships are difficult, no matter what. If someone tells you otherwise, they are lying, or they aren't in a relationship.

2. Your relationship is normal as long as it works for you and your partner. Talk to your significant other about what "normal" means to him or her. As long as the two of you are on the same page and being true to yourselves and what you really want, it doesn't matter what others think. In today's day and age, there is no normal; our society is all about "anything goes."

3. Don't get caught up in peer pressure. If marriage isn't for you, but a monogamous committed relationship is, go ahead and have that relationship. As long as you and your partner are being honest about what you both really want and you are not pressuring each other, embrace the relationship that you are choosing to have.

4. If you aren't in a relationship but you want to build a family, that is perfectly okay. Single parents are very of the norm today; if it works for you, go for it.

5. Look around you and really notice other people's relationships. Not what you imagine them to be, but what they really are. No one's relationship is perfect, so don't think that you are alone in the fact that you have some issues with yours sometimes.

6. Don't believe "the grass is greener" elsewhere. You might wish some aspect of your best friend or colleague's relationship were part of yours, but I promise, there are many aspects of other people's relationship that you would never want.

7. Spend some time being thankful for what you have, instead of wanting something different. If you focus on your own relationship, you will see how happy things there make you.

8. If you think that your relationship is not "normal," then you need to have a discussion with your significant other and figure out ways to alter it that will make you happier. You need to be true to yourself and to your feelings.

9. Everybody disagrees and argues from time to time. This is common in any relationship. Your relationship would not be a a real relationship if there weren't some rocky days. It's okay to love him one day and hate her the next; that's "normal" because relationships are challenging. They can also be very worth it.

10. As much as normal comes in all different relationship packages, keep in mind that you should be having more happy days than sad ones in your relationship. Yes it's "normal" to argue, but it is not normal to argue everyday and it is not "normal" to spend more time feeling unhappy than you do feeling happy?

An Interview With I-ELLA

The holiday of love is behind us, and if you didn't have a Valentine's this time around maybe this article will help! Matchmaker Samantha Daniels knows a lot about what it takes to find the perfect person for you (she’s helped 126 couples get married), and fashion has a lot to do with it! Check out what Samantha – also the author ofMatchbook: The Dairy of a Modern-Day Matchmaker and co-creator of the former TV series “Miss Match” – has to say about the secret to looking great and feeling great on your first date. 

I-ELLA: Tell us a little about your background and how you got into the matchmaking business:
Samantha:  I was a divorce attorney, and on the side, I was throwing parties for my single friends. Because I wanted to be a good hostess, at the parties, I would always introduce people to each other so that they would know each other and they would have more fun. And so, I found that I had a photographic memory for names and faces and I could remember that she was from Chicago and he was from Chicago and they both liked to play tennis, so I would bring them to meet each other just to be a good hostess. 

I-ELLA: What’s the secret to connecting? What’s the essence of it?
Samantha: What I do is I listen to people. I kind of get a sense of their energy, what they enjoy, what they don’t enjoy, what their life is like, and then I pick people for them that have sort of that same outlook, that same energy, who I really see clicking. It’s about laughing at the same jokes, finding the same things to be annoying, continually having that unspoken language between the two people. 

I-ELLA: How does fashion relate to what you do as a matchmaker?
Samantha: I think that when you’re dating, you really only get one chance to make a good first impression, so it’s really important what you’re wearing and, most importantly, that you feel good in what you’re wearing. Because if you don’t feel good in what you’re wearing, then even though it might be the trendiest, most fashionable thing, you’re there spending so much time wondering, “How do I look? Does it fit me? Do I look good? Does it work for me?” and you’re not really putting your best foot forward. So when I give fashion advice for people when they’re going out on dates, we talk about trends and what’s in and what’s hip, but at the same time we talk about what works for them and what they feel really comfortable and confident in, because that’s going to make them be the most flirtacious and the most beautiful to the guy.

I-ELLA: What kind of fashion advice, if any, do you give to your clients when they go on dates? Are there first-date fashion rules that ladies should follow?
Samantha: First of all,
you should always have that go-to outfit in your closet that you know you look really good in and that you’re comfortable in, because that way, if you’re having one of those days and you don’t know what to put on, you have that to grab and you know you can put it on and you look good. At the same time, you want to pick something that’s sexy, that you feel sexy in, but that’s not too over the top. 

I-ELLA: What are a few of your first date outfit picks?
Samantha: I like a woman to dress in a feminine way. I think she should wear color. So many men tell me that they’re not attracted to women who wear black, and a lot of women feel like they should wear black because they look good in it and it’s simple and it’s classic. But I can’t tell you how many men say, “I’m not attracted to women in black. They look like they’re going to a funeral.” Men a lot of times think women look older when they’re wearing black, so the advice that I give is always a color, pick a color in the rainbow. As we all know, loving fashion, there are all different shades of colors – fall, winter, spring, summer – so you need to pick colors that work for you, but I think that people look different when they’re wearing colors and it makes them pop and it makes them seem happier and brighter.

I-ELLA: How would you define your personal style?
Samantha: I’m very into ‘60s and ‘70s vintage clothing and handbags.  I have a very extensive handbag collection of ‘60s and ‘70s designer bags and whimsical fun bags. So a lot of times I’m looking to my handbags first, and then building clothing around that. I think that my style is a combination of ‘60s conservative with a little L.A. funkiness. I bring together a lot of different pieces, so I’ll go and find a great vintage coat and then I’ll have a vintage handbag, but then I’ll buy a modern pair of shoes or a great piece of jewelry and I mix it all together. I think my style is very eclectic, but I’m always picking things that I think look good on me and that are very unique. That’s why I really like the stuff that’s on I-ELLA because everything is one-of-a-kind.  

I-ELLA: Are there any designers or celebrities you look to for fashion advice or inspiration?
Samantha: I look to the fashion of the past. I don’t really look at any current designers right now because I like to be very unique. However, I love vintage Roberta DiCamerino and vintage Carlos Falchi handbags. I also love Courreges and Pauline Trigere vintage coats and clothing.

I-ELLA: How often do you edit your closet? Do you have any tips for our members?
Samantha: If there’s something that just doesn’t work for you anymore, then you have to get rid of it. However, we all go through cycles. We like it one day and we hate it the next. That's why it is always important to keep those classic pieces, because you never know when they will come back in style!

I-ELLA: What are your three rules to live by?
Samantha: You have to be willing to take risks. As an entrepreneur, I’ve learned that you have to go for what you want to go for, and even if there are naysayers around you – which there always are – if you feel passionate about something, then you have to go for it because that’s how you get what you want. 

You always have to be ready to take apples and make apple sauce. If you have a problem while you’re working, you can’t give up. You just have to spin it another way and just take the apples and make a different kind of sauce.

Be confident in yourself. A lot of times, people aren’t sure about what they’re trying to do and it’s easier to take the straight and narrow path as opposed to taking this convoluted, unusual path. But there’s so many rewards when you create something that someone else didn’t create.

I-ELLA: Any final dating or fashion advice?
Samantha: In order to start dating, you have to feel good about yourself. A lot of times, fashion helps women feel good about themselves. Pick out items that really enhance who you are as a person so that when you go out dating, you can put your best foot forward. 

Grew up in Philly and lived in L.A. for 4 years, has helped 126 couples get married (and buys herself a handbag every time a couple gets together!), also has a book out (Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern-Day Matchmaker), make fashion your friend!; also created a TV show (“Miss Match)

If you want more information on Samantha Daniels and her matchmaking service visit her website

Here's what I know... everyone has a "foot in the mouth" moment on a date.

Have you ever been on a date and something comes out of your mouth and you literally can't believe you said it?

Here's what I know...

(1) Everyone puts their foot in their mouth, a lot, when they are dating.

(2) You can always cover over a stupid comment with a giggle or a just kidding (the way you use LOL every two seconds in email) and hope for the best. If you have a killer smile or if you are a good flirter, the person sitting across the table will probably forgive your stupidity.

(3) Even if the first words out of your mouth as you greeted your blind date were " Hi, wow, you look tired", instead of what you meant to say that she looked great, you can still figure out a way to recover if you just are sweet at other parts of the night.

(4) Even if you told an ex girl friend that you are glad you dated her because it gives you "street cred" with other people, this still does not mean you are a hopeless dater, just a little insensitive at times.

(5) Even if you spent an hour talking about your ex when you swore you wouldn't even bring him up, you can recover, especially if the person sitting across the table likes you.

(6) People who are looking to meet someone great, tend NOT to judge someone on 1 lone stupid comment, they tend to take things "under advisement" and wait and see.

(7) Instead of harping on the stupid or bad thing you said, and instead of bringing it up again and again (because that only makes the person remember it all the more), more forward in the conversation confidently and let the person see the real and thoughtful you instead.

Here's what I know... If he stopped calling you over something little, then he wasn't yours anyway.

How many times have you obsessed over the littlest thing that you did in your relationship, thinking that your one small action was the reason for it's demise?

Here's what I know...

(1) Guys don't break up with girls over little things.

(2) Once a guy decides he is attracted to you, he won't break up with you over something that only you notice- that one pimple you got on a Tuesday or the fact that you wore a bra that didn't make your boobs look as big as they usually do.

(3) Guys don't pay attention to how many "xo's" you put at the end of your text message and he certainly won't break up with you over that.

(4) Guys read emails very quickly and they don't labor over every word you wrote and what you meant by them, the way girls do. Absent your writing something really awful, he is not going to break-up with you because of your LOL or because you had too many typos.

(5) It is natural to question the last little thing you did with a guy if he ends things with you and you are not sure why. However, to find out what really went wrong, you need to dig deeper and look at the full picture and the patterns of behaviour.

(6) When you are dating someone, it's more important to learn the things that would bother HIM, not obsess about the things that would bother you that don't even register on his "notice" meter. (Example: he won't notice if the smiley face in your text was a full smile or a wink, but he will notice if you need to have a "relationship conversation" by email during work hours, when he is in his office!

Here's what I know... You should be able to "agree to disagree" if you want to be together.

Have you ever gotten into a situation with the person you are dating where you just cannot come to terms?

Here's what I know...

(1)Sometimes two people have opposing viewpoints on a subject and just cannot agree.

(2) If you care about someone, you should give them the space to have his or her own opinion and for you to have yours.

(3) Sometimes a disagreement can be healthy for a relationship as long as you can move by it.

(4) Two people will never agree on everything and this can add dimensionality to your relationship.

(5) If you have a disagreement and you cannot come to terms, you need to think about whether you can respect the other person's point of view although you don't agree w it.

(6) Perhaps you can learn something from your partner's differing viewpoint. Take a step back and try to understand how they are looking at things.

Here's what I know... You need to be with someone who loves "the real you."

Have you ever wondered why you would put yourself in a circumstance where you are apologizing for just being you?

Here's what I know...

(1) You are pretty damn great. You need to find that person who understands that.

(2) You need to be with someone who loves all that you are and all that you are not. Marlene told me that and it's very important.

(3) If someone is questioning who you are, have you ever stopped and asked, who are they?

(4) If you are asking why you are compromising yourself, then you are in the wrong situation.

(5) If you constantly need to hide the real you, then you aren't in the right situation.

(6) If you know deep down that you are trying to fit a square peg in to a round hole, take a step back and don't do it. Do you real want to take all this time to pick someone, only to then get divorced?

Here's what I know... The "trolling the party" guy is not ready for a real relationship.

Did you ever wonder why a guy who says he wants to be in a relationship spends more time trolling parties than trying to work on having a relationship?

Here's what I know...

(1) You need to take time to be in a relationship and make it work.

(2) If you want to be in a relationship, you will be willing to give up a trolling night to be with a girl you like.

(3) If a guy is not willing to give up the trolling night, chances are, he is not into you enough to forego it.

(4) A guy might say that he trolls parties because he really wants to meet someone but there is a difference between hitting the occasional party and going to the opening of an envelope!

(5) Some guys troll for sport and because it's a game to them and others troll because they think it is a necessity. Either way, do you really want to be with that guy?

(6) You have been in situations before where when a guy is crazy about you, he drops everything and can't get enough of you. If the trolling guy can't do this, it's time for another guy.

Here's what I know... Sometimes friends cross the line with your boyfriend.

Have you ever watched in wonderment as one of your female friends crosses the line with the guy you are dating?

Here's what I know...

(1) You need to be honest with yourself and decide if you are an overly jealous and sensitive person or if it is obvious that your friend is crossing the line.

(2) It would be appropriate for your friend to say hello to him at a party and having a 2 to 5 minute conversation with him. It would be inappropriate for her to corner him for 30 minutes with her "come hither" eyes batting away.

(3) It would be appropriate for her to include him on a group email or an email to both of you. It would be inappropriate for her to email him directly and asking him a question about the two of you that she could have just as easily asked you directly.

(4) It would be appropriate for her to let him buy her a drink. It would be inappropriate for her to assume that she is "his second girlfriend" and that he will buy her dinner every time you all go out.

(5) If you do have a friend who is crossing the line in this area, you need to think about whether she is really your friend, your frenemy or just after your guy.

(6) If you think that your friend is crossing the line and you are not certain that she is doing it on purpose, have a conversation with her. She might learn something about proper behaviour and you might save a friendship.

Here's what I know... there is a lid for every pot

Do you ever feel like what you are looking for in a relationship is so much deeper than what most people can handle?

Here's what I know...

(1) You are not alone; many people feel like there are very few people who really understand them.

(2) There are people out there that want to have a very deep relationship, you just need to keep on the look out for them and not settle for someone who isn't of your caliber.

(3) It usually takes a person who has had some drama, loss or difficulties in their life to make someone want to have a deeper relationship. If you are dating Mr Happy Go Lucky, it is probably going to be difficult to get him to understand you.

(4) Not everyone is for everyone. You need to find who is right for you, not obsess over who isn't.

(5) You need to make room for the possibility that someone can catch up to you in desiring a deep relationship; you just need to give them the time and the space to try.

(6) You need to be open to understanding someone else's definition of a deep relationship and see if perhaps the two of you can find a happy medium.

Here's what I know... Girls still want a polite and gallant guy.

Have you been wondering if chivalry is dead?

Here's what I know...

1. Polite is polite- you don't have to be over the top like standing up every time she goes to the bathroom, but basic politeness goes a long way.

2. Girls notice if you open her car door for her or just head straight to the driver's side.

3. Girls notice if you allow her to go through the door to a restaurant first or if you plow through.

4. Girls notice if you buy a drink for her friend as well as her when you are trying to impress her.

5. Girls notice if you offer to go with her to help her get her towed car instead of just saying good luck.

6. There are men out there who are still very chivalrous- girls notice them, remember them and like them. Why not be one of those guys?

Here's what I know.. You need to marry "a man."

Have you ever thought to yourself that you just wish he could step up and be a man?

Here's what I know...

(1) Men mature more slowly than women do. This is a fact.

(2) Men don't really get "it" unless they haven't experienced "it" in quite the same way as you have.

(3) Men who have never real been in love, don't really understand what love is and you need to figure out how to teach them or the relationship is doomed.

(4) Flirting and game playing is fun and good foreplay, but in order to get into a real relationship there has to be more than that.

(5) Men who are very surface and do not even try to dig deeper are not for you. The man you are going to marry is going to get down and dirty with you.

(6) Men who can't handle real raw emotions and a little drama are not for you. You need a guy who will cry with you, want to listen to everything about you and want to really understand all there is to know.

Here's what I know... If you get invited, you go!

Do you sometimes feel like you would rather just sit home alone and watch TV, rather than be disappointed in a social setting yet again?

Here's what I know...

(1) My grandmother always told me that "if you get invited, you go because you never know who you are going to meet." These words are on the second page of my book, Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern-Day Matchmaker (Simon & Schuster) and are words to live by.

(2) If you think about it, each time you actually do leave the house, something does happen. You might not meet the man of your dreams or your wife but you might run into an old friend, make a new and interesting business contact, or just have a good laugh.

(3) If you do leave the house, make sure you do it with positive energy; otherwise you are sabotaging things before you even leave.

(4) Pick chatty, outgoing people with whom to surround yourself. These people are connectors, and they attract people in their direction; you will reap the benefits.

(5) Keep in mind that every day is different. The last four Friday nights might have been busts, but this does not necessarily mean that this Friday night will be.

(6)Let's say tonight is the night that you are going to meet "your" guy. How are you going to meet him if you don't leave the house?

(7) Get excited about the idea of possibilities. Unpredictability is what keeps life exciting!