(Originally appeared on The Huffington Post on December 27, 2013.)
Every year at about this time, people start to think back on the year that is coming to a close, and reflect upon all the things they didn't accomplish that they had hoped they would. For single people, often high up on that list is the fact that they didn't get married or get into that significant relationship for which they had been looking. Instead of harping on things you can't change from the past, here are some New Year's resolutions that might actually help you find and fall in love in 2014:
1. Remove negative influences from your life. Whether or not you want to admit it, there is negativity all around you. Acknowledge this and do your darndest to remove it from your life. This means negative friends, relatives and colleagues.
2. Date people you wouldn't usually date. All single people get into dating ruts from time to time. If you know that your dating life has hit a familiar pattern that always ends up poorly, make a resolution to date differently in 2014. Date people you wouldn't usually date and see if this changes your relationship luck.
3. Join an online dating site, even if you think you are not that kind of person. Face the facts: in this day and age, almost every single person is either online dating or working with a professional matchmaker like myself. If you rationalize that online dating is just not for you, you are robbing yourself of the opportunity to meet someone who could be your mate. Just take a deep breath and do it.
4. Move to a new home, if you have been procrastinating doing so. One of the things I constantly hear from single people is that they refrain from moving because they might meet their significant other, and then what? This is a bad excuse. You will be more apt to meet your honey if you are living your life and moving forward. It would be a high class problem if you need to figure out what to do with your new home because you met the One.
5. Reach out to old friends with whom you have been meaning to catch up. With sites like Facebook and LinkedIn being all the rage, you have no excuse for not reconnecting with old friends. Just friend them somewhere, make a plan to get together and then see if they know someone great for you. Friends love introducing their friends to each other.
6. Participate in an activity that is outside your comfort zone. Doing new things is a great way to expand your social circles and meet new people. Go ahead and choose something you have always wanted to do, but have never done. Join a baseball league, join a tennis club, take a cooking class, just do something and keep your eyes open for other single people while you are doing it.
7. Get a date makeover, so you look and feel your best. It's always good to change your look a little to shake things up in your dating life. Go ahead and get a new haircut, add highlights to your hair, go buy a new sexy date outfit that will wow the opposite sex or buy a new color lipgloss. Make a change and you will be surprised how many people will notice you in a different way and compliment you too.
8. Get fit and healthy. This needs to be a top priority in 2014. Stop making excuses that this doesn't matter, because it absolutely does. Being fit and healthy is the number one characteristic that both men and women tell me is of importance to them in a mate. Take a step to becoming more fit and you will see a huge difference in your dating life.
9. Do some self analysis about why are not in love. You are the only constant in every one of your dating situations and in every relationship which you have been in. You need to take a very long, hard look at how you are being perceived in the dating world and then make some important changes to improve that perception. Are you too negative? Do you play too hard to get? Are you not feminine enough? Are you too picky? Do you never have a plan for the date? Are you commitment-phobic? Figure out what you can improve or change and do it, immediately.
10. Stop the booty calls with people who are not real contenders. It's time to be smart if you are looking for a real relationship. My mother always told me that if you have someone in your life, no matter how inconsequential, you are not trying as hard to meet someone else because you are distracted. This is fact. Get rid of Late Night Larry or Late Night Linda if you want to meet your true love in 2014.
Every year at about this time, people start to think back on the year that is coming to a close, and reflect upon all the things they didn't accomplish that they had hoped they would. For single people, often high up on that list is the fact that they didn't get married or get into that significant relationship for which they had been looking. Instead of harping on things you can't change from the past, here are some New Year's resolutions that might actually help you find and fall in love in 2014:
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| Did your year not end with a New Year's kiss? |
2. Date people you wouldn't usually date. All single people get into dating ruts from time to time. If you know that your dating life has hit a familiar pattern that always ends up poorly, make a resolution to date differently in 2014. Date people you wouldn't usually date and see if this changes your relationship luck.
3. Join an online dating site, even if you think you are not that kind of person. Face the facts: in this day and age, almost every single person is either online dating or working with a professional matchmaker like myself. If you rationalize that online dating is just not for you, you are robbing yourself of the opportunity to meet someone who could be your mate. Just take a deep breath and do it.
4. Move to a new home, if you have been procrastinating doing so. One of the things I constantly hear from single people is that they refrain from moving because they might meet their significant other, and then what? This is a bad excuse. You will be more apt to meet your honey if you are living your life and moving forward. It would be a high class problem if you need to figure out what to do with your new home because you met the One.
5. Reach out to old friends with whom you have been meaning to catch up. With sites like Facebook and LinkedIn being all the rage, you have no excuse for not reconnecting with old friends. Just friend them somewhere, make a plan to get together and then see if they know someone great for you. Friends love introducing their friends to each other.
6. Participate in an activity that is outside your comfort zone. Doing new things is a great way to expand your social circles and meet new people. Go ahead and choose something you have always wanted to do, but have never done. Join a baseball league, join a tennis club, take a cooking class, just do something and keep your eyes open for other single people while you are doing it.
7. Get a date makeover, so you look and feel your best. It's always good to change your look a little to shake things up in your dating life. Go ahead and get a new haircut, add highlights to your hair, go buy a new sexy date outfit that will wow the opposite sex or buy a new color lipgloss. Make a change and you will be surprised how many people will notice you in a different way and compliment you too.
8. Get fit and healthy. This needs to be a top priority in 2014. Stop making excuses that this doesn't matter, because it absolutely does. Being fit and healthy is the number one characteristic that both men and women tell me is of importance to them in a mate. Take a step to becoming more fit and you will see a huge difference in your dating life.
9. Do some self analysis about why are not in love. You are the only constant in every one of your dating situations and in every relationship which you have been in. You need to take a very long, hard look at how you are being perceived in the dating world and then make some important changes to improve that perception. Are you too negative? Do you play too hard to get? Are you not feminine enough? Are you too picky? Do you never have a plan for the date? Are you commitment-phobic? Figure out what you can improve or change and do it, immediately.
10. Stop the booty calls with people who are not real contenders. It's time to be smart if you are looking for a real relationship. My mother always told me that if you have someone in your life, no matter how inconsequential, you are not trying as hard to meet someone else because you are distracted. This is fact. Get rid of Late Night Larry or Late Night Linda if you want to meet your true love in 2014.
