10 Tips For Finding Romance On Halloween

(Originally appeared in the Huffington Post on October 30, 2013.)

Halloween is a great time of year if you're single and looking for a new romantic interest. Everyone is out and about, in a good mood and ready to have a fun evening. In fact, Halloween might be the best night of the entire year to meet someone and find some lovin', so grab a costume or a mask and get out there. Here are some tips on how to make the most of the evening and meet someone great:

Choose a costume that will elicit compliments.

1. If you're going to a costume party, you must wear a costume, no matter what; no excuses. If you can't get into the Halloween spirit, chances are that you will not be meeting anyone. (Nobody wants a party pooper!) If you're having a really hard time, think of your costume as a way to get out of your shell and a way to become the person you always wanted to be. Think Clark Kent and Superman. Use your disguise to be daring, bold and flirty.

2. Choose a costume that makes you look and feel great so that you can confidently make the rounds at that party. Choose something that flatters your figure, makes you feel sexy and is fun to wear. Nothing is better than people telling you how great you look, so choose something that will elicit those compliments. Some ideas are a Sexy Fairy, a Foxy Lady or the Queen of the Nile.

3. Don't choose a costume that is over-the-top scary or grotesque. It's one thing to be a vampire or a zombie from The Walking Dead, but it is another thing to have bugs crawling all over you or to be carrying a severed, bloody leg. This is the night to be sexy and interesting, not creepy and awful.

4. Don't choose a costume that is so odd that it will scare people away. If you can't explain your costume in one sentence or less, choose something else. You don't want someone to be curious about what you are, only to be frightened away by your oddness. Examples of some no-no's are Pregnant Tinkerbell or a Wet Shirt Lady.

5. If you are stumped on an original costume, go with a play on words. A play on words costume is a great conversation starter, as people have to walk up to you and ask you what you are, and you can flirt with them while they try to guess. Some examples of good one are a Cat Burglar, Chick Magnet, White on Rice, Cereal Killer or Spice Rack.

6. Don't choose a costume that requires you to be with a pack of people all night to pull it off. You do not want to be the whole bag of M&Ms or the cast of Glee because you will spend the whole night parading around with the group instead of meeting someone new.

7. If you're looking for an excuse to approach someone who you want to meet, just compliment their costume. Everyone loves to be told that their costume is awesome. Use this to your advantage and march on up to that cutie and say you love his disguise. You will have him eating out the palm of your hand.

8. Choose a party that is not too large and crowded. It's tempting to go to the party that is boasting a 1,500-person turnout with an all-night open bar and a celebrity DJ, but that will only be a see and be seen party. Choose something a little more intimate so you can meet someone and actually get to know them.

9. Pace yourself with your drinking. It's okay to lose your inhibitions a little bit, but it is not okay to lose your mind completely. People sometimes stir up a little mischief on Halloween, so be aware and be alert. Never leave your drink alone when you head to the dance floor.

10. If you are interested in someone, get their email or cell number early on so they don't disappear in the sea of costumes. It's hard to keep track of people at a Halloween party because people get camouflaged by all the costumes. So, if you are interested, exchange digits quickly, so you can be in touch come November.

6 Unintentional Things Your Body Language Says in a Relationship

I recently contributed to a really fun piece at Galtime.com by Lauren Bolf, "6 Unintentional Things Your Body Language Says in a Relationship".

Send the right message with your body language

Here's an excerpt:

Celebrity Matchmaker Samantha Daniels reveals eye contact is very important because it shows that you are interested in what he is saying and that you are paying attention.

“This is universally applicable, whether you’re having a deep conversation with your boyfriend or are trying to connect with someone new on a first date.” 

To read the full article and the rest of my tips on body language, click here.

Samantha's Dating Thought: Jump Start Your Summer Dating

If you're looking to get into a relationship this summer, I have some good news for you: summertime is a fantastic time to meet new people. The days are warm and the nights are long. Everybody is always out and about enjoying the sunshine. If you want to really jump start your summer dating, here are four tips:

Check out an outdoor movie screening in your area, like this one in Bryant Park.

• Buy a new, flirty colorful sundress that you love. It will boost your confidence, not to mention the fact that men love women in sundresses. 
• Use this time to get back into that exercise routine that you let slide during the winter months. Try  joining a biking club, join a softball game, or even just walk around your city with a smile on your face. You will feel better about yourself, more fit and you might even meet someone this way.
• Keep an eye out for fun summertime events happening in your area, such as outdoor movie screenings or concerts in the park (check out Summerstage or the Bryant Park Summer Film Festival if you're in NYC). The more places you go, the more chances you have to meet someone great.
• Sign up for a group trip or outing to someplace you have always wanted to go. Best case scenario, you meet someone on the trip and worst case scenario, you make some new friends and get to see that place you have been dying to check out.

Samantha's Rooftop Bar Picks: Summer 2013

It’s definitely summertime in New York City, and you know what that means: tis the season for rooftop bars. Here are five of my favorite high altitude, open air hot spots for those long summer nights: 

Upstairs at the Kimberly Hotel

• Martini Bar at the Metropolitan Museum: Sophisticated yet understated, the Martini Bar at the Met has some of the best panoramic views of the Manhattan skyline. Drop by the Punk exhibit (through August 14) and then head up to the fifth floor for a very classy martini. 

• Sky Terrace at the Hudson Hotel: An oldie but a goodie. This 15th floor terrace has great little nooks with couches for lounging, as well as ten speciality sangrias. Could you ask for more for a summer night?

• Upstairs at the Kimberly Hotel: Towering 30 stories over Midtown, Upstairs at the Kimberly has a stunning interior design (part Louis XIV, part goth) and a very creative cocktail menu. Tres chic for an evening al fresco.

• Pool Lounge at the Dream Downtown: Make a splash in Meatpacking at this swanky poolside lounge. From the hotel lobby ceiling, you can see into the pool. How cool is that? 

• La Piscine at Hotel Americano: Sit back in one of the cozy cabanas at this pool bar and restaurant and enjoy the luxurious views of Chelsea and the Hudson River. It’s the perfect locale to watch the sun go down. 

Happy rooftop hopping!

10 Types of Friends Who Are Toxic to Your Dating Life

(Originally appeared on The Huffington Post on May 17, 2013.)

Have you ever wondered if you have friends in your life who are inhibiting you from meeting a great guy? Have you ever really considered which of your friends are truly good friends to you, like you are to them, and have your real best interests at heart? There is something to be said for going out on the town with the right kind of friends, friends who care about you, want you to meet someone great and help you look and feel your very best. If you are truly serious about meeting the One, it's time to take stock of your gals and get rid of these toxic friend types:

Are your friends hurting your dating life?

Miss Centerstage: This girl somehow always finds a way to make her stuff and herself seem better than whatever you have going on, especially when guys are around. She is the friend who shows up right as he is asking you for your number and makes herself seemmuch more interesting than you. And, then he promptly forgets all about you. Even on YOUR birthday, she figures out how to get all the attention. This girl is blowing your rap, so now you need to blow her out of your social circle.

Miss I Already Dated That Guy: This girl has been around the block a few times when it comes to dating. She has been out with just about every guy there is and she has somechoice words to share about each and every one of them. The result is that you fail to pursue many men because she "knows that you will never like him." This girl is not good for your posse; you need to make your own observations about the men you meet.

Miss Can't Handle Her Booze: This girl is basically a drunk, even as she sits there innocently sipping her white wine spritzer. She is always making a huge scene and needsmucho attention. Eventually, she scares off all the men. You know what you should doabout this friend.

Miss Blabbermouth: This girl just cannot keep a secret. She doesn't understand girl codeor the definition of the word private. This girl is a walking time bomb because you never know what is going to come out of her mouth that might embarrass you or put you in an awkward situation. If you keep this friend in your life, be very careful about the things you tell her, so you don't get caught in a big heap of dog-do.

Miss Always Having A Blonde Moment: This girl is a ditz regardless of her hair color. She has said,
"Oops, I didn't even think of that," one too many times, especially when she is around men. You have a brain and you want men to respect you, so don't let this girl pull you down.

Miss Finds Fault In Everything: This girl is hypercritical. There is rarely a time that she thinks her surroundings, the people around her and especially you passes muster. And because she is so critical, she comes across soooo negative. Men hate negative. Do you need a girl in your circle who makes you feel like crap and tramples on your confidence?

Miss The Sky Is Falling Down: This girl is always going through the world's largest issue except that it is usually a big deal only to her. Her problems seem to always become everyone else's problems, especially yours which makes her tiring to you and to men whom you might date. Of course, if she had a real problem, you would be there for her in a heartbeat, but don't let her "dramas" get in the way of your dating.

Miss Too Pretty: This girl has done nothing wrong other than the fact that she born beautiful. Everyone, including you, is drawn to her, but the question is can they take their eyes off her long enough to notice you standing right next to her? She is a good guy magnet as long as she is willing to share the wealth. This is NOT a friend to get rid of, but you might need to have a heart to heart with her, so that you can devise a system for your socializing together.

Miss Desperate For A Man: This girl is crazed to meet the One. It's as if she has the worddesperate stamped on her forehead because men see her coming from a mile away. This is NOT a good look for you because the kind of men you want to date are not interested in desperate, insecure women. Relegate this friend to Sunday night movie night.

Miss Ditches You The Second She Finds A Guy: This girl is a fairweather friend, to say the least. She seems to be there for you, makes plans with you, invites you places until she meets a guy and then she disappears into thin air. You deserve a friend who is friends with you even when she has a boyfriend.

Can you think of any other types of friends who are toxic to dating?

Samantha's Dating Tip: Spring Clean Your Dating Life

Spring is definitely in the air. As you clean your closets and put away your gloves and hats, think about  what you could be doing to clean up your dating life. Here are five tips:

• Over the winter, did you go on a first date with someone about whom you couldn't make up your mind? Consider shooting him a text about meeting up again. You could find that your chemistry heats up with the warmer weather. 
• Is there someone in your dating life who you continue to see even though you know it cannot, or should not, go anywhere? Throw off the weight of winter and sever ties with this person. Spring is a time for fresh starts. 
• If you broke up with someone during the winter, use spring as an excuse to chase away your winter blues and become proactive about finding a great new guy. Let all of your friends and family know that you are ready to be set up with any eligible bachelors that they may know. 
• Can you think of someone you met in the past few months that you are interested in, but he might not know? Take a chance and send him a flirty Facebook message. With some spring in your step, you might just land the man of your dreams. 
• If you started seeing someone during the colder months and things are going well, think about the next steps you could be taking in your relationship. Plan a springtime getaway, or find a summer vacation rental to go in on together.

Samantha's Dating Thought: Don't Plan Dinner On A First Date

Time is precious, especially when you are single. And the last thing you want is to get stuck at a long dinner with someone for whom you just don't like.

 For this reason, I always advise that first dates be planned for drinks only. This keeps the pressure off because you always have the opportunity to dash off after one drink if you aren't feeling it and if you are feeling it, you can go for a second drink. And then if you are really really feeling it, then you can get dinner. (Or, you can plan dinner for their next date.)

 Have you ever gotten caught in an awful dinner date?

Should You Get Married Or Is Monogamy Enough For You?

(Originally appeared in the Huffington Post on March 18, 2013.)

You have been with your beau for awhile now. You are exclusive, boyfriend and girlfriend, you are known as a couple in your social circle and you might even live together. And all seems copasetic. However, society favors marriage over just being a couple which is why living together without marriage has the old nickname of "living in sin". So how do you know if you are meant to be a happily unwed person forever or if it's time for you to head to the altar? Here are some things to consider when trying to make that decision....

1. Do you personally believe in matrimony? Deep down before you became all modern, did you believe in matrimony and like the idea of marriage? If so, maybe it's time to get back to your roots and take the plunge.

2. Will matrimony make you feel safer and more secure in your relationship? After all, marriage is more permanent than just being in a relationship. As easy as it is to get a divorce these days, it still requires some effort to get one. You can't just curse each other out and never speak again like you can if you are in a relationship without the legalities.

3. Is there a reason why you are "living in sin" at the moment? Is it because that was the next step in your relationship trajectory and marriage is next and you have just been lazy, or is it because this is what you and your partner decided was right for both of you? When you ask this question, make sure that the answer is coming from yourself , not your partner.

4. Have you refrained from taking the plunge into matrimony because you are acommitmentphobe and marriage seems so much more permanent than cohabitation? Be honest with yourself about this and if you are just scared sh**less about taking that next step, talk to your partner or to a professional about your fears and maybe you can work through them.

5. Have you hesitated about walking down the aisle out of lack of desire to plan a wedding?
If this is the case and you actually would like to be married, go ahead and elope or just do the ceremony in front of a justice of the peace. Getting married is about the love you have for each other, not the party.

6. Have you stayed away from matrimony because deep down you are not sure that your significant other is the RIGHT significant other for you forever? If this is the real reason why you are "living in sin," maybe it's time to admit this and do something about it, instead of staying in the wrong relationship for even longer than you already have.

7. Are you scared of divorce? Are you one of those people who grew up in a divorced family and swore that when you got married, you would never get divorced? You need to take the pressure off yourself on this. Just because your parents got divorced, doesn't mean history will repeat itself. Stop getting ahead of yourself, and jinxing your relationship. Why not go in thinking positively that you are going to work on your relationship and make it last forever, and then maybe it will.

8. Are you holding yourself, your partner and your relationship to an impossible standard because you grew up with picture-perfect parents? If this is the case, cut yourself a break. Regardless of how you remember your childhood, chances are, your parents' relationship wasn't as perfect as you remember it. All relationships have their ups and downs and relationships take work. If you love the person you are with, go ahead and get married and make your own recipe for your great marriage which might be very different from that of your parents.

9. Are you scared that marriage might ruin your relationship? Don't pay attention to those annoying friends of yours who tell you that "getting married ruined their relationship." This is a lot of nonsense; if their relationship is ruined it's because they ruined it, not because they got a legal document that made them commit to each other.

10. Are you scared that your sex life will suffer or become non-existent if you get married? Your sex life is what you and your partner make of it, irrespective of whether you are married, living together or simply monogamous. You and your partner need to work to make your sex life interesting and fun and then it will not matter what classification you have on your relationship.

What other reasons do you have for not taking the plunge into the marital swimming pool?

New Year's Resolutions To Help Your Relationship

It's a New Year! Now, it's time to think about if your relationship progressed as you wanted it to in 2012. Are you where you want to be with your partner? Or, did 2012 fall short of your relationship expectations? It is all too easy to fall into a relationship rut. Work, family, and life in general can wear you down and leave you with little energy to devote to your partner. No matter where you are, I have three suggestions for resolutions that will help you ensure that your relationship stays on track in 2013.

Happy New Year!

1. Try something new every week. Introducing a new activity into your weekly routine will ensure that you continue learning more about your partner. It will also be fun to find new ways to enjoy each other's company. And here's a hint: it doesn't have to be anything fancy. Prepare a new recipe for dinner together, or see a concert at a venue or in a genre you typically wouldn't attend. If you're short on ideas, local newspapers are filled with the goings-on about town. Websites like LivingSocial.com and also very helpful.

2. Choose a new skill to learn together. Having something to work toward together will bring you closer than ever before, and will help keep the passion alive. Is there a language you have always wanted to learn? Motivate each other to stay on track, and perhaps even plan a trip to a country that speaks it to reward yourselves for your hard work. If you are daredevils, try something adventurous like hang gliding or flying a plane. If you are athletic (or want to be), train together to run a race. It can be anything from a 5K to a marathon. If you have a competitive streak, enter in a tango competition a few months away and start working on your moves.

3. Create a fulfilling life outside of your relationship. Trust me, this is very important to having a happy and healthy relationship. You must ensure that your personal growth continues outside of what is going on with your partner. The happier you are with your life, the more you can bring to the table with your relationship. This means pursuing your hobbies, following up on your work goals, and having a strong and supportive network of friends.

Dating During The Holidays

(Originally appeared in the Huffington Post on December 24, 2012.)

The holiday season is a busy time for everyone whether you are single, married or in a relationship. Sometimes it's difficult to know the right and wrong things to do when it comes to dating during the holidays. If you are concerned that you might make a faux pas or two, have no fear, here are some rules to help you make it through the season.

Are you exchanging gifts with your beau?

1. Establish if you are giving gifts or not. If you have been together for awhile, chances are, you should be giving your beau a gift. However, if it's a new relationship, the two of you need to decide if you are doing gifts.

2. Make sure you have an appropriate party dress to wear to his work Holiday party and/or to his family's home. The right outfit is something festive yet conservative. Do not go with your new uber trendy outfit. And, if you are concerned that it might be too sexy, it is.

3. Don't misinterpret what an invitation to his holiday party means. Sometimes work holiday parties are dated functions and if his has one, chances are he will invite you because he needs to come with a date. Other company's do not allow guests. Don't make assumptions; before you get upset that he hasn't invited you, hint around about whether guests were allowed.

4. Only invite a new love interest to a holiday party with you if you can pay her appropriate attention. You don't want to invite someone to go to an event with you and then leave her alone in the corner. And you don't want to be so busy that your date will feel ignored such that he or she will look for attention elsewhere.

5. If he invites you to his home for the holidays, make sure you bring his mother flowers or a bottle of wine. And then the next day, either call to say what a lovely time you had or send a short note. His mother will notice this and comment positively or negatively accordingly.

6. Make sure to save time for your honey during the holiday party madness. We all get invited to tons of holiday gatherings but

do not book yourself so thin that you don't save time for the two of you to see each other. If you see him on December 1 and then don't come up for air again to see him until December 28th, chances are, he won't be around anymore by that point to see you ever again.

7. Figure out if going away together makes sense for the two of you. If you are going away together, that's great but if you aren't at that point yet, make sure you discuss what going away separately means so there are no misinterpretations. And make sure you make a solid effort to be in touch regularly to keep the momentum going.

8. If you are dating a few people casually during the holidays, make sure you remember who you took to what event, when. The holiday season can be such a whirlwind, you need to make sure you don't get so caught-up that you cause an issue for yourself.

9. If you are single during the holidays, keep in mind that this is an excellent time to meet someone. During this time of year, everyone is out and being social, so there are lots of opportunities to meet someone new. Plus, as the holidays approach people tend to take stock of their lives and become more interested in sharing with someone and coupling off.

10. Rule of thumb for a New Year's Eve date, if he hasn't asked you by Christmas, or broached the subject at all, chances are, he is not going to ask you. New Years Eve is a big night and takes some planning, maybe buying tickets to an event, making reservations etc so people tend to lock down those plans as early as possible. If he hasn't said word one by Christmas, make your own plans and then if he does ask you, try to incorporate him into what you are doing. In this way, you personally will be covered either way.

Is Your Relationship Normal?

(Originally appeared in The Huffington Post, July 30, 2012.)

Everyone wants to be in a romantic relationship, and everyone has an idea in their head of what the perfect relationship should be. However, most of the time, we end up in relationships that never resemble what we thought we would have, and we start to wonder whether or not this is okay. Usually, the answer surfaces when we compare our relationship to other people's and try to figure out if ours is better, worse or the same. Of course, we can never make this determination because one never knows what goes on behind closed doors and what is actually normal. If you are wondering if your relationship is normal, here are some pointers so you can figure that out...

1. Relationships are difficult, no matter what. If someone tells you otherwise, they are lying, or they aren't in a relationship.

2. Your relationship is normal as long as it works for you and your partner. Talk to your significant other about what "normal" means to him or her. As long as the two of you are on the same page and being true to yourselves and what you really want, it doesn't matter what others think. In today's day and age, there is no normal; our society is all about "anything goes."

3. Don't get caught up in peer pressure. If marriage isn't for you, but a monogamous committed relationship is, go ahead and have that relationship. As long as you and your partner are being honest about what you both really want and you are not pressuring each other, embrace the relationship that you are choosing to have.

4. If you aren't in a relationship but you want to build a family, that is perfectly okay. Single parents are very of the norm today; if it works for you, go for it.

5. Look around you and really notice other people's relationships. Not what you imagine them to be, but what they really are. No one's relationship is perfect, so don't think that you are alone in the fact that you have some issues with yours sometimes.

6. Don't believe "the grass is greener" elsewhere. You might wish some aspect of your best friend or colleague's relationship were part of yours, but I promise, there are many aspects of other people's relationship that you would never want.

7. Spend some time being thankful for what you have, instead of wanting something different. If you focus on your own relationship, you will see how happy things there make you.

8. If you think that your relationship is not "normal," then you need to have a discussion with your significant other and figure out ways to alter it that will make you happier. You need to be true to yourself and to your feelings.

9. Everybody disagrees and argues from time to time. This is common in any relationship. Your relationship would not be a a real relationship if there weren't some rocky days. It's okay to love him one day and hate her the next; that's "normal" because relationships are challenging. They can also be very worth it.

10. As much as normal comes in all different relationship packages, keep in mind that you should be having more happy days than sad ones in your relationship. Yes it's "normal" to argue, but it is not normal to argue everyday and it is not "normal" to spend more time feeling unhappy than you do feeling happy?