Just came back from the Sundance film festival. It’s like summer camp. People party until 3 am, randomly hook up with people and make new best friends who they can’t live without in Utah and who they never talk to again back in their home town. While there, I became fascinated with the vacation hookup… I watched it unfold in Aspen over Christmas and New Years and I watched it continue in Sundance. Do we think that the vacation hookup can be anything other than a hookup? And I have been wondering why everyone is so comfortable randomly fooling around when they are on vaca. Or does this happen everywhere, all the time, and its just more pronounced on holiday?
Here are my thoughts… If you meet someone on vacation, you run into some stumbling blocks right away- you are probably traveling with a friend who you can’t ditch so then it becomes difficult to have a “proper date’ and becomes easier just to meet up later in the evening; well later in the evening implies sexual activities full stop. Secondly, you run into the person you meet on vacation every friggin’ place you go- you go to the bathroom in the ski lodge, there he is, waiting to pee too, you run into the bank to use the cash machine, he just did it too, you were invited to that super exclusive party, guess what so was he! So… it becomes like you are living with him, when you barely know him, its very different from when you live in your home town that is large and has lots going on and its very rare that you have random encounters. Third, what happens if you meet more than one interesting person on the vaca, how do you juggle especially when you run into both or all of them practically everywhere you go? And lastly, what happens if you meet this terrific person on day 1 of a 10 day vacation, does he or she become your boyfriend or girlfriend for the whole vacation? But if he or she doesn’t, he or she will probably wind up hating you because he or she will see you interacting with other people.
Vacation romance is harddddd!
So, here is some advice if you did have a vaca encounter and you are trying to salvage it….
Don’t hold what happened on vaca against the person unless he or she did something extraordinarily crappy to you like fooling around with your best friend the night after he or she fooled around with you, or he making out with another person right in your face.
Acknowledge that vaca romance is complicated and if the person reaches out when you get home, give him or her a chance in the normal environs- he or she might prove to be okay back home.
Realize when a vaca romance was only that, a fun holiday fling and don’t push something that you know deep down is not for you like a romance with a 25 year old player who is not looking for a relationship.
Don’t despair if your vaca romance didn’t amount to anything, be happy that you had a fun trip and be happy that it’s a new year, full of possibilities.