The little things




Big things, they are easy to remember- when someone's birthday is, their favorite color, that they don't eat dairy. But what of the little things, the things people say in passing that you actually remember or the things you can do for someone else to show you care? Today people always seem to forget the little things even though the little things often times are the most obvious niceties out there. And the little things are the ones that people notice, are the things that make you different, and unique and more appealing when you are dating, more attractive than the masses.

Here are some examples of some sweet little things you can do when you are dating which will get you some major brownie points.

1. When going on a date with someone who has kids, ask him or her the kids names, ask to see photos of the kids and say that the kids are very cute (even if they are not!)

2. If you have a second or third date with that same person, remember to ask how his or her kids are doing and ask about them by name.

3. If you are both having coffee or tea and you are either at home serving it or at a swanky restaurant where they give you individual tea kettles, make sure to pour your dates cup of java first and then pour yours.

4. If the two of you are sharing food, serve your date first, always.

5. As a woman, when you are dating a man, it is nicer to plan an actual full evening where you are going to pay than to try to take the check and pay at the end of a date he planned.

6. If your date had trouble remembering something while you were out together that was important to him or her (like the name of one of his or her favorite movies.), it is nice to follow up afterwards with a cute email saying that you remembered the name. And it is even nicer to show up at the next date with that movie DVD as a gift.

7. If your date mentions that he or she has an important meeting the next day or even a few days later, it is very thoughtful if you remember the meeting and its approximate time of day and pop him or her an email afterwards and ask how the meeting went. It is good if you remember something specific about that meeting so your date felt like you were really interested in what he or she was sharing with you.

8. If your date mentions in passing that he or she would love to try a particular restaurant or that he or she hadn't been back to a certain restaurant in ages, it is very sweet to plan an outing to that place.

How picky is too picky?


Sometimes I wonder if people remain single because they are just too picky.

All I hear these days is..."I don't like the way he speaks, I don't like that he didn't pick me up, I didn't like that she answered her phone during the dinner."

"I didn't like that he picked a restaurant near his house, I didn't like that he picked a restaurant near my house, I didn't like that he picked the restaurant without asking me, I didn't like that he asked me to pick the restaurant."

"I didn't like his friends, he doesn't have enough friends, he has too many friends" and on and on and on.

For every good thing we find in someone, we tend to find 5 bad things at the same time. And if we keep focusing on the negative, we might just be alone forever.

Here are some tips on how you can be less picky:

-When you go on a date, instead of thinking about what you didn't like about him or her, think about what you did like.

-When you find something you don't like about a person, think about whether that thing is really a deal breaker for you or are you being too picky.

-Think back about how many times you have run into a guy or a girl who you nixed immediately who is now happily married, looks "pretty normal" from a distance and you walked away thinking that maybe you were too impetuous with "that one". If this has happened often, think about not letting it happen again.

-Legitimate deal breakers are things like differences in values, religious differences, lack of sexual chemistry and drinking and drug issues.

-"Legimitate pickiness" is cutting him off because he is a half inch shorter than the height you tend to date or because she has C cups instead of D cups!

-If you are unsure whether or not you are being too picky, "phone a friend", an honest and direct one and ask his or her opinion.

-Keep in mind that no one is ever going to be perfect. Not even you!

Dating joke- pretty funny



Choosing a wife
>
>
>A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among
>three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and
>watches to see what they do with the money.
>
>The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon
>gets
>her
>hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very
>nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more
>attractive for him because she loves him so much.
>
>The man was impressed.
>
>The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set
>of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive
>clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent
>all the money on him because she loves him so much.
>
>Again, the man is impressed.
>
>The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several
>times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the
>remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for
>their future because she loves him so much.
>
>Obviously, the man was impressed.
>
>The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the
>money he'd given her.
>
>Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.
>
>Men are like that, you know.

Valentine's Day aftermath...


Valentine's Day- the holiday for lovers. Girls look forward to it, hoping they will have a date, wishing that their beau will step up this year and discover the real definition of romance.

Men dread it- they know that chances are, whatever they do, whatever they buy, isn't going to be right, good enough, or what their lady is fantasizing about. And then the day after, relief coupled with thoughts of breakups or thoughts of love.

I am in Aspen skiing right now and I rode the gondola up the mountain with a couple who was arguing about Valentine's Day. They didn't celebrate it because the guy was stuck and work, they were arguing about it. He was promising to "do better" next year and she was threatening that she had his credit card number and would buy herself her own present.

I, being the budinsky that I am, chimed in (after all the ride up the mountain is a good 20 minutes) and pointed out that they could just celebrate valentine's Day on another day- maybe next week or March, in April or maybe even in July. I pointed out that Valentine's Day doesn't have to be just about a specific date n the calendar, it can just be about the symbolism of remembering those around you, find a time, an excuse to be romantic. They kind of looked at me funny- maybe because they didn't want me interfering in their fight and then because it seemed like they gave what I was saying some thought. I pushed on. I looked at him pointedly and said that perhaps he could try to come up with a spontaneous unexpected romantic gesture he could do for his woman on a day that she wasn't expecting it and on a day that he had time to focus. He shrugged and seemed to think that this could be a reasonable idea. And then I smiled understandingly at her and said that guys sometimes like to do this on their own time, in their own way, not just when "they are supposed to." She seemed to buy that explanation as well.

The moral of the story... Romance can happen anytime, in anyway. Its about being thoughtful, small gestures and taking the time to think about your significant other and what you could do with them or for them that would show them that you really care, show them that you took time out of your busy schedule to focus on them.

Its not about how much money you spend or how elaborate the gesture is, its about the gift or gesture itself and how in tune it is with what will make your partner happy.

Think 1 Hershey kiss on someone's pillow when they get out of the shower on a random morning. Purple tulips instead of red roses or cooking a dinner with all of his or her favorite foods on the menu with their favorite music playing in the background.

This is romance.

Is she an astronut or an astronaut?


Of course I needed to blog about this crazy in love astronaut. Have you been following the news about her? This woman is looney tunes, right? Or is she just really in love? Love makes us do crazy things, uncontrollable things. But does love make most of us don a diaper and drive 9 hours to pepper spray "our competition"? Probably not. But, have most of us, myself included gone a little nutty at least one time in our lives all in the name of love? Absolutely.

So why does love make us act this way? And when we step over the line like the Astronut, I mean astronaut did, is it no longer love, it is now obsession?
Scientists will actually tell you that obsessive love behavior might not be our faults. There is a chemical in our bodies called dopamine and some people call it is the "love" chemical. When you feel that surge of love or attraction to someone, dopamine gets released through your body then you feel that giddiness, a high if you will. Dopamine can and does contribute to that an irrational
feeling of attraction that can and does overcome the lives of some people. Seems like our astaunut got an extra gigantic surge of dopamine!

What makes people fall "head over heels" in love?
For many people it's chemistry, that indescribable feeling of connection, the intangible that draws two people together in a cosmic, not able to fight it way. In my matchmaking business, I put people together paying attention to commonalities- if they have the same hobbies, if they will find the same things funny, if they will find the same things annoying, if they have similar values. And then I also pay close attention to what they say they are physically attracted to. But the one thing I cannot account for, ever, is chemistry; chemistry is unpredictable and sometimes it happens between the most unlikely of people.

So... Do we condemn our Astronut? The woman's in love, serious, obsessive love. We have all felt it, but have we acted on it?
Have we become stalkers?
Sometimes even the most normal of people go a little crazy in the name of love. However, just a word for the wise... if your stalking involves not using a toilet or wearing a Halloween costume in any other month but October, you probably have taken it a bit too far.....

Barry Manilow- Do you have someone who will go with you to his concert?


I went to see Barry Manilow on Thursday at Madison Square Garden. I know you might think that I am a dork but I love the guy's music. Remember... he "writes the songs that make the young girls cry"... And let me tell you... his lyrics, well I cried several times during the concert.

Being at the concert and doing something I really wanted to do regardless of what people might think or regardless of who wanted to join me made me think about dating and how so many people come to me with agenda's and "must haves." It made me that about how very rarely these days is having fun and laughing on that must have list. For the guys, its always about how "hot" the girl is, how old she is, that she isn't "thick"- (what a terrible expression!) and for the women its about what job he has, how ambitious he is, where he lives and where he vacations. But seeing Barry made me think that what it is really all about is connecting over the little things. I saw so many couples at the concert really having fun together, singing all the words to all of Barry's songs; guys, macho looking ones, wiping tears away when Barry told a very nostalgic story about his grandfather, couples holding hands and kissing because the music is so romantic.
So.. Some advice... Find the person with whom you can go to your version of a Barry Manilow concert, someone who is going to be willing to share those dorky things that you like to do with you, someone who is willing to learn to like what you like without giving you a hard time about it. And you need to want to do the same for them.
And if Barry is actually your secret passion... don't be embarrassed. And keep in mind that a great way of getting your guy to like him is to let him know how great Barry's music is for "setting the mood". You might be surprised about how quickly he will join you at the next concert!

HAPPY NEW YEAR


I'm back from vaca in Aspen- no snow but it was warm and sunny everyday, so from my perspective the skiing was amazing! Happy New Year!

So January is an interesting month for matchmaking....January is probably one of the two hottest matchmaking months. It’s freezing in New York (usually), nobody wants to go out, there are very few social events taking place, many people have broken up over Christmas and New Years and many people are very depressed that they are starting a new year alone again. My phone rings off the hook this month.

If you are alone... don't despair- so are alot of other people. And the bonus is that people like to cuddle when its cold so they are on the look-out for their cuddle partner. Additionally, even though most people think the whole "New Year's resolution" thing is foolish, most people do, in fact, make some New Years resolutions. And often times, those resolutions have to do with having better relationships, having some kind of relationship, not being alone, and having someone with whom to share the good and bad. So, at least for the next month or so, you should be able to hit a few people who are trying to live up to their resolutions and get into a relationship. No, they don't wear a shirt or sign that says they are "trying" but I think most people are trying to be good and better right after the first of the year. Grumpiness and negative energy doesn't seem to set in again until Valentine's Day!!

Some advice...
Valentine's Day is 5 weeks away and counting.. It sucks to be alone then so...

1. spend some time this month trying to socialize more and differently than you usually do.

2.Reach out to some old friends, make plans to go out with then and while you are reconnecting, ask them if they know anyone to introduce you to-- since you haven't been in touch for awhile they may just know someone you don't know.

3.Don't be bashful to ask- if you don't ask, you don't get.

4.Revisit some guys or gals you rejected in the past- people change as they get older and people look really good when its really cold outside!

5.Just do it, try online dating, its not so bad, I've tried it, it's just another way to meet some people.

Holiday party madness


So... It's holiday season again. How do we fit in the dating and go to all those parties?? My business is booming- I guess a lot of people don't want to be alone for New Year's but at the same time, no one seems to be available to actually go on a date. I have been hearing "I can see her at 5:15 for 45 minutes" and "What about lunch from 1:15 to 2pm Thursday." NO!!!! Dating is not like business, you don't squeeze in your dates. Dates should be at night, when both people can drink, heavily, if they so choose or at least sip a little vino to calm their dating nerves and to decompress from their stressful day. Moreover, the "squeeze-in" feels crappy for the person you are taking out. Everyone is so busy now, but the successful savvy daters will fit people in without letting them know they are being fit in. You're not stupid, you know the right thing to do and say, SO DO AND SAY IT!

Some tips....

Most of the holiday parties are exactly the same, different venues but same general faces. Hence, you should get comfortable with the fact that if you miss one, you won't miss anything. Honestly.

Most people go from party to party so you really can do a "fly-by" and no one will get mad at you.

If a date sounds good, DON'T put him or her off until after the holidays. Let's say that they meet someone else, they you will be S-H-I-T out of luck and feel like you missed out on someone great.

If you are hosting a holiday party, invite ALL of your crushes and potentials. This will be a good time and place to figure out which ones you really like and which ones are just fillers on your dance card.

If you do invite all your crushes and potentials, make sure you warn each and every one of them BEFORE they arrive to the party, that you are the host/hostess, that you probably won't be able to spend all that much quality time with them but you will do your best.

If you invite all your crushes and potentials, make certain to insist that they each attend with a friend so they will not feel alone during most of the evening when you are pay attention to your other guests and so they won't wind up pissed off at you.

If you invite all your crushes and potentials to your party, make certain that none of them think that they are your specific date for the evening. If even one of them thinks this, a real disaster a'la Paris Hilton/Lindsay Lohan could ensue.

Happy holidays!

Aren't these things supposed to be obvious???




Obvious 1- If you say to a girl that you want her to go away with you for New Year’s, she will think you like her, alot. (So if you don’t, don’t say stupid S-H-I-T like that!)

Obvious 2- If you fool around with a guy you barely know on the first date, he is not going to believe you when you say "you never do this."

Obvious 3- If you text and email someone repeatedly, if they make plans with you and cancel them at the last minute, and if they go MIA and then have a lame excuse, they are not into you. Period. No rationalizations, no excuses, THEY ARE NOT INTO YOU.


Obvious 4- Girls who are in their 20’s more times than not, only choose to date men in their 50’s if they want something from them ,and usually "that something" is money. (If you are in your 50’s and want to date a girl in your 20’s, just admit it to yourself regardless of how young you think you look, that she is a gold-digger in some capacity)


Obvious 5- People fabricate the truth in their online dating profiles. (If it looks like a duck, and acts like a duck, it’s a duck!)

It Can happen to You!


So, yesterday I went to a high school reunion lunch. One of the girls there, told me a story that I thought I should share....

She is divorced, has one child, a son. She lives in Phila. When she got divorced she didn't think she would ever meet a guy. She went on date after date, set-up after set-up, bad party after bad party, but nothing, no one ever clicked. Then she went on Match.com, and she met a guy named Mark. She had this very romantic first date with him- drinks, a basketball game and then dancing.

She thought he was great, with one gigantic red flag.... He was very quick to tell her about "Mark's 3 year plan." His 3 year plan was that he felt strongly that he would never marry a woman until he knew her for 3 full years. He said that he had been in a bad marriage before and he didn't want to do that again. Of course this comment was like an elephant on the table and most girls I know would have run, not walked straight to the door and never to take his phone calls again. And who would blaim them, 3 years is a long "sentence" to live in a relationship.

But this girl, acted unlike most of the girls I know in NY. She decided to not let that comment bother her and she decided to date him. One month later, he said to her, remember my three year plan that I told you about on our first date? Well, I think you are the one for me so I am starting to get over that plan! Three months later, when they had been together 4 months, they got engaged and they are getting married in 10 days, 1 year and 13 days after they met. So much for plans and rules!!!


True story!

Moral of the story- anything is possible and when you meet the right person all your rules, and lists, and must haves and plans fly out the window because when its "it", it's "it"!

Why not make November the month in which you give a chance to a person or to people you would have never given a chance!

September and October- very busy Matchmaking months!


Hi, sorry for the MIA- September/October are my busiest matchmaking months- you want to know why??? (here are two excerpts from my book)

September is an interesting month for matchmaking. I guess every month is, but September is especially interesting because many peeps come my way. First of all, summer has ended. Why is this significant? Because a lot of single people were expecting to meet the person of their dreams over the summer-people are tan so they look better, healthier, and thinner, women wear sexier clothing, more bare clothing that attracts the hombres, there are a lot more people out and about, happy and interacting and people take vacations to try to meet people. Moreover, in my cities (New York and Los Angeles) a lot of people do fun shares in vacation houses (in the Hamptons and in Malibu) and these houses are hookup central; there we have tons of single men and women all looking to meet and be met. Anyway, people go into the summer thinking, hoping and praying that they will meet someone significant. Unfortunately for a lot of the singles, they meet a lot of people, have a lot of flings, but come out of the summer still alone. That’s where I come in. They gave it the summer, four months and still nothing, so they come to me, hat in hand. Yes, I might be sloppy seconds in this situation, but I am okay with that.

October, another interesting month for matchmaking. There are the people who gave it September to see if any of their contacts from the summer would turn into anything romantic. There are the people who gave themselves September to get over their summer breakup and now they are ready to hitting the proverbial dating ground running. And there are the Jews who waited until after the Jewish High holidays, thinking that they might see an old flame sitting in the service or that the real Yenta in their life, their mother, might actually fixate, on an interesting friend of the family instead of the nightmare friend she always fixates on, while she’s supposed to be fixating on the prayer book, but of course this never happens!

So, I get alot of people in Sept and October. Lucky for me!

To read more and to meet some of my characters-- Mr. Gazillionaire, Mr Bonus with the Pinky Ring, Miss Man Hunt, Brad Pitt Guy, Looks Good from afar guy and many others, please run don't walk your little fingers to Amazon.com and buy my book: Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern Day Matchmaker!! (Yes, I get to self promote, its my blog!!)

MEN WITH BIG MOUTHS

The other night I went out for a juicy steak at Quality Meats, that new, very posh steak house in midtown and I ran into a guy who I knew back in the day when dorky guys were still dorky guys because they had yet to make their financial killing. Remember those days??

Well…believe you me he was one of those guys. I remember he always talked too much. I also remember he had this major crush on me, I am talking major; he asked me out about a gazillion times and I always said no. I remember one time I agreed to go with him to a Giants game “as a friend” I was clear on that, but he went and told everyone that we had a date, a day date no less which sounded really serious to a lot of our friends. Needless to say that was our last non-date date of any sort.

So fast forward about 7 or 8 years. IThere I was, minding my own business eating my petit Filet and chitchatting about dating, of course, with my female friend and up comes Mr. Non-date date from yesterdays past. He’s married now, had a company, sold it for bucks and now he thinks he’s really cool, I mean really cool.

I said hi to him and asked him how he was. “Well,” he said almost proudly, “my wife and I almost got a divorce last night.” "Oh,” I said, “I am sorry to hear that.” And I glanced at my friend a little uncomfortably. He went on to say, “Well you know marriage is really hard and if it weren’t for our son we probably wouldn’t be together right now. I think she’s a great girl and everything but I am just not sure we should be married. Our sex life is basically non existent and we fight all the time” My head started exploding a bit; can we say TMI!!! Too much information, did he really think that I, pretty much of a stranger to him at this point, needed to or wanted to hear that he is in a bad marriage or that he almost got divorced. How dumb was he? And his poor wife! I wanted to run not walk to my computer and send her an email and anonymously tell her that her husband was a putz and that she should talk to him about keeping their private problems private. The poor girl.

But as if this wasn’t bad enough, he went on to ask me if he were single would I go out with him. Now first of all, this is a really rude, I mean an incredibly rude question to ask a single girl because it’s really just a self serving hypothetical because he's not single and therefore not avaialble in anyway. Look at it this way, say I liked the Bozo- it was like he was taunting me just so he could feel good about himself. I didn’t even dignify the question with an answer. He smirked a bit and shuffled his feet, “oh come on Samantha if I were single, wouldn’t you go out with me? You never would in the past but admit it, now you would.”

I looked at him, and said sweetly “Why? So when it doesn’t work out between us, you walk around telling random people? Sounds like something to really look forward to!" And with that I turned away, leaving him in a state of confusion. The sad thing is I don’t even think he had any clue what I was talking about!

Almost out of friends...

Making friends in the "real world" is an interesting phenomenon. Right?

In high school and college it was easy- you met people in your classes, in your dorm, in a drunken stupor at a keg party! It was even easy to make friends when you were first out of school and working because you had both your high school and college friends to fall back on and the groups just kept expanding and everyone was just about six degrees of separation.

But then things started to change.... alot of your friends coupled up, a bunch got married, some moved to the suburbs and some got obsessed with working long hours so that they could afford the McMansion they overpaid for in the Hamptons. And then fast forward to now... you may be out of single friends or very near close to a deficit.

So what now??? You don't want to admit that you are out of friends, that you are panicked about with whom you are going to go to that next charity event, and with whom you are going to ring in the New Year; however, truth is truth, you are hurting in the friends category.

Here are some tips for finding some new friends, or at least for supplementing the ones you've got...

Reconnect

Go through your address book and send a "Hello it's been so long" email to some friends of the past. Chances are they will be super excited to hear from you.

Suggest staying in touch to someone who you meet through a mutual friend

If you like your current friends, chances are, you will probably get along reasonably well with their friends. So at the end of the next 35th birthday dinner you attend this week, trade emails with the person sitting to your left instead of just air-kissing them goodbye.

Don't stand on ceremony- you reach out first.

Desperate people must acknowledge their desperation and do something to fix the issue. Let's face it, you need friends and you need plans. Don't wait for someone to connect you, you do the contacting. And don't be embarrassed if you need to reach out two times before you get a reply.

Plan a "new friend get-together".

You are making new friends, perhaps they would all like to meet. Become Julie the cruise director and plan a dinner, people will be very flattered to be invited and will, in turn, invite you to something.

Don't be uncomfortable going out alone.

In most cities, it is totally accpetable to show up to an event alone especially during the week. You are better off going alone than sitting home alone.

Guilt your married best friend into being your wing-man.

Remind him or her how many upteen-times you were there for him or her in the past. Guilting them works every time!

HAPPILY HAMPTONS AFTER

Happily Hamptons After


It’s the end of August, the summer has heated up nicely and now it’s high time for you to couple up with the right person before you head back to the city for fall. You look the best you have looked in a long time. You’re tan, due to the perfect combination of the hard to get Anthelios Sunscreen SPF 60 for the face and the naughty but we use it anyway, Bain de Soleil orange Gelee for your body. You’re in great shape thanks to hot Bikram yoga at Exhale, the seductive pole dancing classes at S factor and great early morning bikes rides along the water. And you have finally perfected your summer wardrobe by grabbing some cute islandy dresses at Calypso, great espadrille wedges from Tory and adding some great steals for a good cause at the Super Saturday shop fest for Ovarian cancer. Yet, you still don’t have that special someone with whom to go wine tasting on the North Fork.

You have watched many of your friends couple up, hook up, even break up but regardless they have all had a flurry of activity in the romance department, and you have not. You even thought you did all the “correct” Hamptons things to do to meet that special someone like forking over the $200 for the Love Heals benefit that never happened, dragging yourself to a social beach like Main Beach or Sag Main as well as pulling yourself away from the sunshine and the pina colada’s poolside to hit the Polo VIP tent one too many times. But still nothing has hit. And now the summer is about to come to a close and you are starting to feel the heat!

Here’s some advice of how to meet someone great before you put away your summer whites or at least to hook up with that hottie you been longing for.

Be aware of karma.
You don’t have to be a yoggie or Kabbalah worshipper to believe that karma is important. People with negative energy repel other people so if you are really want to meet someone great, ditch the negative friends, surround yourself with people you have a blast with regardless of where you are and plaster a huge smile on your face. The opposite sex is always drawn to someone having fun

Try doing things a little differently.
Only crazy people do the exact same thing over and over again expecting different results. So find some sanity, and mix it up a bit. Try going to a trendy hotspot like Trata or Madame Tongs a little earlier than usual or even on a non-trendy night, you might be surprised at the interesting people who will be there just the same.

Do daytime co-ed activities.
Enough with the late night partying, the days are so much better! Socializing sans alcohol in broad daylight is just what this Love Doctor ordered. Grab some sunscreen and head to the great outdoors where activities provide the ultimate ice breaker. So… when you are at the beach don’t just observe the volleyball game, get in it. And think about getting up at 8 or 9am and joining a biking group or take that wind surfing lesson at NeapogueThrow a party.

Become a “hostess with the mostest.”
Keep in mind that the host controls the party list which gives you the perfect opportunity to invite that cutie you have been after all summer and to get your friends to bring all sorts of interesting people to meet you. Everyone loves a party invitation!

And some more Dating Do’s.
Smile at that hottie in the car next to yours on trafficky 27.
Suggest a co-ed dinner with some people you don’t know that well.
Get a permit for everyone’s favorite party- a clam bake on the beach and stop into the Seafood shop in Wainscott for all the spoils.
Send a drink or a wink in the direction of the person you have been admiring all evening.
Get rid of that person who isn’t all that into you anyway.
Skip Cain for a night, you don’t meet anyone there anyway, and try Turtle Crossing for reggae dancing.
Consider the guy or girl you know you have been eyeing all summer in your share house.
Wear a hat during the day - a great sunscreen and conversation starter.
Hit golf balls at Poxabogue in a very cute outfit.
Organize a co-ed poker game
Tell your party guests to skip the wine gift and bring an interesting friend of the opposite sex instead.
Wear that sexy white dress you’ve been saving all summer.