Love Match-- Jeremy Piven and Carmen Electra













Jeremy Piven’s character Ari Gold in Entourage has catapulted him into super stardom, but he has yet to find his own leading lady. Jeremy is a funny man at heart who loves to send those sarcastic zingers in various directions. The woman I see him with needs to be able to hold her own, take his playfulness and throw some back his way. To hold his interest, the woman would need to be a stunner, but known and respected in her own right. My choice: Carmen Electra. She newly single, a truly beauty, but a little spicy and cool. This lady might just be able to give Jeremy a run for his money.

HOOKING UP

Hooking up.


Everybody seems to be doing it in the Hamptons right now, regardless of their age, regardless of the type of relationship they are ultimately looking for. It seems that going out to restaurants like Madame Tongs, Savannahs and Bobby Vans are in actuality just preludes to hooking up. I think that single people trick themselves into thinking that they might meet “their intended” at one of these places, and of course they might, but the probability of this is seeming lower and lower from the stories I am being told lately. More likely, people are finding other people male and female who are ready, willing and able to have a little fun, for the evening, no strings attached, and no contact thereafter. And yes, some people will lay it on thick and try to convince you that it is not just a one night stand and that there all sorts of romantic rose colored possibilities for the two of you in the future.

But, safe bet… don’t buy into the BS, if it sounds like BS, and you are suspicious, be suspicious and take it for what it’s worth- foreplay to a fun evening. If you enjoy, no, crave the flattery and the attention, go for it, but it’s better to go for it when you are being realistic about what it is and what it is NOT going to become than going for it with expectations that are going to cause a lot of obsessing and disappointment.

Some rules for hooking up (Not that I am condoning it or dissing it), just some words of advice…

---Don’t choose someone else’s boyfriend or girlfriend, there are plenty of unattached people in the Hamptons, pick one of those.

---Make sure to end the evening or the morning as it may be with “I had a great time” “That was terrific,” or “Wow, so unexpected” rather than “I’ll call you to go to the beach later” or “Let’s meet out tonight” when you know you are never going to do this.

If you are going out with the intention of hooking up, come prepared with your own transportation. Nothing is worse for you when you have a friend begging you to leave and nothing is worse for them than when they are waiting around while you get action and all they get is aggravated.

As a guy, be prepared to buy drinks for ladies if you intend to woo them, this is expected.

As a woman, if you are looking for a little nooky nooky, don’t stand in a pack of women. Either stand alone, off to the side or with one friend. Men, even players get intimidated to approach large groups.

Smile- this is welcoming and will make someone approach you.

Be careful- regardless of how nice and how expensive someone’s clothes look to you, you never know what is lurking underneath. Use protection, after all, this person is a stranger to you.

CELEB NEWLYWEDS...



Pam Anderson and Kid Rock

Newlyweds at last. This on again off again love affair has spanned more than 5 years having met thru a mutual friend right after Pam divorce from Tommy Lee. We like them because their love has lasted thru turmoil and other couplings yet somehow they found their way back to each other. We like them because they both have an exhibitionist, life of the party side yet deep down they are both into family and keeping it real.

ALL WORK AND NO PLAY- the Devil Wears Prada

ALL WORK AND NO PLAY…. The Devil wears Prada.

We say that love is the most important thing to us, but how often do we let work get in the way of it? Of course, our livelihoods are important, otherwise how would we eat or buy Prada shoes but love is important as well. Afterall, what’s the use of all that money if you have no one to share it with, right?

I saw the Devil wears Prada this weekend. Great fashion movie- loved the Balenciaga dress, the hot Chanel thigh high boots, and the Patricia Fields specially designed brown handbag. Thought Anne Hathaway was great, really a breakout role for her and Meryl Streep was hysterical, I just want to walk around and say “that’s all” in a monotone voice to every person who pesters me, even a little! Adrian Grenier…. I like him better in Entourage, his character in the movie bothered me, a lot- a little too sappy and too unable to control his woman; he couldn’t even get her to celebrate his birthday with him. Clearly work ruined their love affair. Perhaps it was meant to be ruined, perhaps their were just college sweethearts who never had a future in the real world. But the other perhaps is that they were meant to be together and ambition and Hermes got in the way.

So… some tips for keeping your relationship a relationship and working your ass off to get ahead at the same time….

Figure out a way to balance work and play. This will take effort on your part.

Its easier to figure out in advance what time is going to be allottedas personal time because if you just say, you will find the time and don’t earmark specific time, you will always be at your desk at Goldman Sachs and you will never get to see the Philharmonic in the Park or Grucci fireworks in East Hampton.

Make certain you never cancel on the same person more than once unless it is really an emergency (not that an IPO is blowing up but that you have a sick relative or death in the family.) People are tolerant in small doses.

If you cancel more than once, you need to make a grand gesture to salvage your relationship, saying your sorry and that you will make it up to the person is not good enough. Actions speak louder than words so definitely send those flowers, and definitely not red roses, something more special is in order, perhaps Purple Tulips (see Matchbook: the Diary of a Modern Day Matchmaker). Or send candy, not a Twix bar but something glorious like from Maison du Chocolat or better yet show up with something romantic like a wrapped present box with an assortment of spa products from Bliss and a gift certificate for some treatments.

Keep in mind that if your budget does not allow for a grandious expenditure, which might be why you are working your butt off, something sweet and thoughtful can do the apology trick as well. Send a Monk-email, or send a bag of Hershey kisses, you can definitely afford a few e-cards and some Hersheys, well the bag is under $3!!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH MARRIED MEN????

I don't know if there was just something in the air last night or if married men in NY have actually termed Thursday nights as "let's take off our ring night and hit on single girls" and this happens every Thursday night??

All I know is that last night, in a place that shall remain nameless, there were sooooo many married men being really inappropriate. Can I tell you that any of these men wound up cheating on their wives, I can't say, and I have no idea, but what I do know is that they wasted a lot of single women's time.

Married men think that as long as they are innocently flirting that they are not doing anything wrong. I bet their wives would beg to differ. Moreover, forget about these guys’ consciences for a moment, what of the single girls who they are flirting with? Single girls, at least the good ones, don’t want to be hit on by married men, innocently or otherwise, they don’t want to waste their time, however short, talking to a guy who is not available yet leading her to believe that he is.

I used to think that all you had to do was covertly observe his left hand, and if there was ring, then he was unavailable, no ring, available or at least not wedded in holy matrimony. But a lot of these guys, don’t wear a ring, or go so far as to take it off when they are trolling predominantly singles spots. Can we say sooooo inappropriate???

And I am completely in support of a guy’s night out, I think guys should absolutely have nights where they do their guy thing without the ladies. We, ladies want our girl’s night too. And I don’t really need to know what happens on guys nights but I guess I need to think, no know in my head that my guy will behave appropriately and clearly hitting on an obviously single, available and interested in meeting a guy girl for an extended period of time, crosses the line, for sure. And I am fairly certain that every girl out there would agree. You wouldn’t want us to do it to you!

So, here’s some words of advice for the married men, if you are really only innocently flirting or trying to talk to some interesting new people as I heard one scumball, I mean married man say to a woman he was talking to, this one was married with 3 kids and visiting from Washington DC. You owe it to the single woman to be clear quickly that you are married and unavailable. This doesn’t mean you have to say, "Hi, I’m Bob and I’m married" or have it branded on your head, but it does mean that within the first 5 to 10 minutes of the conversation you delicately drop it in so that if the single girl is actually out on a Thursday night trying to meet someone available, she can excuse herself instead of waste her precious time on you.

In addition, it is wholly inappropriate to stare lasciviously at a pretty single girl and smile at her if you really are only looking to make interesting new friends; what’s wrong with those new friends being of the male persuasion?

Or what’s wrong with have conversation with groups of new and interesting people as opposed to cornering one woman and have a one on one conversation with her if you really are only looking to meet new people? Nothing. But the question really is are you being honest about what you are doing?

There are a lot of women out there who will cheat with you, I would say its only fair to try to go after the ones who are like that instead of taking up the time of a single girl who had the diluted perception that you might be a good guy and you might be someone with whom she could be, sometime on the distant future interested in holy matrimony.

I am in the business of love and I help people get married so the whole cheating thing or innocent flirting thing really does not sit well with me…. Call me crazy!!!
Thoughts?

THE EXPLOSION OF LOVE!


The explosion of love.

I am sure you have all heard about it by now, but in case you are from outside of NYC...the craziest thing happened yesterday, right in my neck of the woods.

This guy, a cardiologist no less, placed explosives in the town home where he lived with his ex-wife in an effort to stop her from taking possession of the home! This happened on East 62nd St between Park and Madison on the upper east side of Manhattan. Apparently, the wife was granted the townhouse in the divorce settlement and the man decided that it would rather see it burn to the ground than allow her to have it.

He wrote in an email to her that "soon she would go from a gold-digger to a ash and rubble digger"- not a bad line! Apparently the couple lived there for their whole marriage and the guy also worked there. According to the news the guy was obsessed with the building and was planning to live in it until he died. The building actually exploded and fell straight to the ground (see photo) but fortunately no one was catastrophically injured and now the man is feeling remorse!

This makes me think about love and hate and how closely connected they are. If you have ever been in love or in hate you know what I am talking about- the emotions are so diametrically opposed yet feel almost identical, right? Love is this giddy, sweet happy feeling while hate is this blood-boiling seething feeling yet the height of the emotions are the same, just as strong, just as intense and just as all consuming. And they say that you can only hate someone or something you actually loved, otherwise you probably just dislike it strongly, not hating it.

And they say (whomever they are) that you really can't love an inanimate object that you can only feel affection for it, desire it or really enjoy it, whereas people you can love.

So I wonder if the press is right, did this guy explode the building because of his love of the building or did the building just symbolize his actual love of his wife? Maybe this crazy doctor was just a love sick guy who didn’t know how to reign in his emotions so he snapped and acted in a fit of desperation or maybe he is just crazy. What do you think?

BAD MOVE, DUDES!

Time to vent. What is up with these men who think that it is right, normal even, to take a girl on a date, wine her, dine her, stay out with her for several hours, kiss her goodbye, on the lips, say they will call, not "soon" but actually "tomorrow" and then poof, they vanish, never to be heard from again? I am so sick of hearing this story.

Hello, men, don't you get it? Girls don't want to be led on. Don't kiss and promise things if you are not going to follow thru. Don't be cowards, we can take it, we are all adults. You are not into us, that's okay, there are other fish out there, and chances are we probably weren't that into you either, so just say goodnight, don't waste our time and our feelings!!

Some rules for the guys... to exit gracefully...

1. Just exit gracefully. Try saying "Good night, I had a nice time" or "Good night, it was nice meeting you"

2. Do NOT say, "I will call you", "let's get together again" or "Can't wait to see you again." if you have no intention of doing any of the above.

3. If you are on the fence about wanting to get together again, THIS IS OKAY. We might be on the fence too. So... say thank you, make NO mention of the next date, go home, process the date, obsess over it if you are an obsessing guy and then make the decision in the privacy of your own about your next move.

(Too many men tell me that the reason why they say "I will call you" and then wind up not calling is because in the moment, at the end of the date, they think that they are going to call, that they liked the girl and would like to go out again. However, when they get home and gain some distance and review the date, they decide that although the evening itself was a lot of fun, this girl specifically isn't really for them long-term, so they decide not to call. And they say, girls change their minds a lot!

This makes sense, and by all means, process the date and make a decision, just leave us out of that decision making process by making no promises to us! And yes, the sentence "I will call you" gets interpreted by a woman as a promise, every, single time!)

4. Believe me, I am a matchmaker and listen to all of this every single day, girls 100% prefer no mention of another date if you are not planning on calling over you saying you are going to call and then you don't. She doesn't want to go home, tell her friends or her parents that she had a great date, will definitely be seeing you again, only to be blown off by you.

5. Get comfortable with the notion that we girls will not die or even cry if you don't end the night with a promise of a call- we can handle this, we can. Just let us handle it.

Thoughts?

WOMEN NEED ATTENTION, BIG TIME!


I spent the weekend realizing how much attention women need, especially from men. Did you ever notice how women's voices change when men are around, how they strike poses for the men, how they smile differently, and bat their eyelashes?

I am a woman so I guess I am guilty of it too but it's funny, very funny to watch other women doing it. One girl I met actually "struck a full on pose when she was chatting with two pf my guy friends and another girl, almost had a temper tantrum when she wasn't getting enough attention.

Guys.... good luck with the ladies- women are pretty difficult to figure out.

Here's so advice for paying attention in an effective way....

1. COMPLIMENT THEM. And then do it some more. Girls looooooooooooooooooooooovvvvvvvvvvvvve compliments

2. Choose very good complimenting words- words like "good" or "nice" DO NOT CUT IT! Girls like to hear that they look sexy, hot, gorgeous or stunning. Pick a word that will make them feel special.

3. Even better... when you compliment, don't just say "you look hot", say WHY she looks hot. Tell her that the bounce is sexy, her legs look awesome, that her eyes are sparkling. Girls like to know what specifically is making them stand out to you.

4. If you are spending time with a group of platonic girlfriends, as will happen a lot during the summer. DO NOT pick favorites! Make sure you dole out the compliments evenly to avid a cat fight a la Lindsay and Paris.

5. If you do have a favorite gal, as in one girl in particular that you are particularly hot for, make sure you compliment her VERY differently from the way you compliment your female friends. Your "special girl" can not be looking hot just the same as the four other girls on the vicinity. Pick a complimenting adjective just for your lady and don't use it to describe anyone else. Or you will be in the dog house all summer, trust me!

HAMPTONS PARTYING UNTIL 5 AM!



Did you ever notice how grown adults act like 16 year old children as soon as they get off exit 70 of the LIE? I have become quite fascinated by the concept that people who claim that club life is so 5 years ago for them, clammer to get into places like the Pink Elephant and Stereo just because they are in the hamptons.

This weekend I saw 40 year old women practically prostituting themselves to get into clubs that had lines 500 deep of people who were very age inappropriate for them. And I saw men 45 to 50 years old begging for admittance, and trying unsuccessfully to give bouncers $400 to 500 to get passed that red rope. Hello people.... you don't need to go to these places that badly! You know that once you get inside, you hate being there, you are out of place and all you do is think about wanting to go home. And you wonder how its possible that you are this old and still doing the same thing you did when you were 20. Right?

I have given some thought as to why people feel this need to go to the crazy clubs until 5am. I think it's because they feel that if make the trek to the hamptons, pay all the money to rent the house and inconvenience themselves by sharing bathrooms and phone lines with strangers that the very least that should happen is a hookup. But does a hookup really help? If someone does hookup with an undesirable, an embarrassment or someone they never want to see again, does this really make someone feel better about themselves the day after? Does this change the fact that next weekend, they will need to pony up another 5 big ones to get into the place again? I don't think so.

So, some advice....

Find somewhere to go in the hamptons where you might have a fun time, a really fun time, not a poser fun time that you have to create thru illegal substances and excessive amounts of alcohol.

Pick people to spend time with in the hamptons whose company you enjoy regardless of the place.

Try to have fun and seem upbeat wherever you end up. People can sense negative energy and will be repelled by it.

Be smart with your time. If you arrive at a place at midnight, and the crowd outside the door is 400 people deep, the fire marshals truck is parked in the lot and you are not on the list to get in, DON'T BOTHER getting out of your car!

If you don't have any juice at a place, but for some reason you are dying to go- you need to get there realllllllllllllllllly early- even if you are the first person to arrive, this will give you better odds for admission.

And lastly, men have trouble getting into clubs in the hamptons unless they have a connection, a recognizable face or a very hot chick by their side. So... my advice, find a hot chick...

Thoughts??

Houseguest etiquette


Overstaying your welcome....

How much is too much? In the summertime, alot of people become freeloaders, the permanent guest, you know what i am talking about. Big debate this weekend in the hamptons- how do you ask to stay if you want to be a houseguest, how long can you stay and how can you ask someone to leave if they have been a mooch for too long? And the sitch of course gets all the more complicated if the visitor is a sexual playmate-- if he or she is sleeping in your bed and your bed is equipped for two- how can you really tell someone to leave? Let's discuss houseguest etiquette....

1. the houseguest should come armed with a gift- maybe a bottle of wine, maybe flowers, maybe a good book but something...

2. the houseguest should be ready, willing and able to sexually service the person he or she is visiting on command, well, maybe not on command, but often. After all why else would that person be willing to so readily share their bed?

3. The houseguest should treat you to at least one dinner during the course of the weekend.

4. The houseguest should feel comfy to stay for 2 days, but after the 2 days it should be the houseguests responsibility to broach the "should i leave question" and broach it in such a way that the person the houseguest is freeloading off of feels like he or she can say "time to go buddy" without being rude.

5. The houseguest should never hog the phone, computer or bathroom, nor should he flood the toilet.

6. The houseguest should offer help around the house whenever he or she sees fit whether this means handyman things or general house chores.

7. If the houseguest showed up unannounced, he or she should realize that perhaps there were other plans in place before his or her arrival and should not get upset if he or she can't be included.


On the flip side- the person housing the guest should keep in mind that the summer is casual, not everyone can be so lucky to have a place to vacation, that making new friends is always nice and playing outside one's comfort zone can always be interesting...

Thoughts....

Opposites attract? Or do they?




Most people pick a significant other with whom they have so many things in common that they are finishing each other’s sentences by the end of week one. While others prefer the opposites attract theory and find that one counterpart who always say “left" when they say “right”.

My theory as a matchmaker has always been to try to introduce people who have as many things in common as possible because I think that this will make it easier down the road. Furthermore, I have found that once the excitement of the differences wears off, those very differences often times can kill the relationship. However, some people are all for the opposites attract theory, so let's discuss...

Take for example Matthew McConaughey and Penelope Cruz. It would appear that they are attracted to each other because of their differences. We have Penelope who prefers gourmet food and the European nightlife while Matthew who would rather be hanging out in ripped jeans and grabbing a cheeseburger, yet they have been together for quite some time.

How do differences like these affect a relationship? What are the warning signs that the differences are too great? And what can you do to make a relationship based on differences work? Here are some tips for making your opposites attract relationship stronger…

Be aware of your differences. Don’t pretend that they don’t exist because they will flare up eventually and at that point it might be too late to work through them.

If differences start causing issues between you, talk to your partner about them and try to figure out a medium ground.

When picking a mate it is okay to pick someone who is not your identical twin but don’t pick someone with so many divergent beliefs and interests that when the excitement wears off you have no basis for a relationship.

Take an interest in your significant other’s interests that you know nothing about; this way you can share that with him and this will demonstrate that you care about the things that he cares about.

Realize that it is okay to have some differences between you and its okay for there to be some alone time in the relationship. Perhaps it would be healthy for him to go camping with his buddies and you to go antiquing with yours.

REBOUND RELATIONSHIPS...


Jen and Vince ...

Are they in a Rebound relationship?

Inquiring minds want to know...???

Everyone knows what a rebound relationship is- it’s that relationship right after your heartbreak relationship with the one person who you were near obsessed with; its that relationship that is supposed to get you over the last one even though you know deep-down that nothing but time or killing yourself will really get you over it!

Usually your rebound person will be a person who makes you feel really good about yourself because at that moment, you are feeling like real crap and your self esteem is in the toilet.

Is a rebound relationship doomed? It might be. But it seems that alot of people don’t really care if the rebound is destined to fail because all they are looking for in the moment is a warm bed and some escape from their misery.

Let’s consider a couple that people have said are in a rebound relationship--- Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn. Jennifer was heartbroken after Brad cheated on her with Angelina. Jennifer found solace in her friendship with Vince. Now they seem to be having more than a friendship. Is this a rebound relationship for her or the real McCoy? It seems like perhaps this rebound relationship is becoming the real deal- they have been together for awhile and are giving no indicators that they are moving on to other people.

Here are some questions you should ask yourself to help you figure out if your rebound relationship is just a rebound or if it has some legs for a longer lasting relationship...

1. How much time has passed since your last relationship?

If it ended yesterday, you probably aren’t in the proper mind set to fall in love again. (with Jen and Vince, a fair amount of time has passed since her breakup).

2. Do you have a real connection with this person and you really enjoy each other’s company or is the connection only sexual in nature?

(Jen and Vince were friends first so the fact that they took it to the next level might suggest a real bond as opposed to a rebound situation)

3. How long have you been rebounding with your rebound?

If its been more than 3 or 4 months, your rebound may have just become the real deal for you and you migh not have even noticed. Its okay for a rebound to grow into a real relationship as long as the relationship is based on something other than sex. (I would venture to say Jen and Vince have moved onto real relationship status by this point).

4. Are you only rebounding with this person to piss off your ex?

If pissing off your ex is the only reason for this association, eventually when your anger has worn off, you might realize that the rebound is only a rebound and the time has come to move on. (With Jen and Vince, perhaps Vince was a good guy with whome to piss off Brad since Vince and Brad were good friends. However, at this point, since Jen and Vince are still cozy, it seems she no longer is motivated by what Brad might think.)

5. Do you actually want to jump back into a relationship or are you just looking for help getting over the last one?

(Jennifer has stated that she wants to be in a relationship, plus she didn’t end her relationship with Brad which would suggest that she likes being in relationships)

6. Were you thoughtful in your choice to get involved with this person or did you just go for the first person that presented him or herself to you in an easy way?

(Jennifer and Vince spent a lot of time together on their movie so getting involved became easy. The future will tell us if they can stay together as they each go on to other things )

Thoughts?

PLAYING THE FIELD- NICK LACHEY...



When is it good for a single person to play the field, not focus on one person in particular, dating around?

When you just coming out of a relationship, you are getting over the breakup and you are so not ready to be with another person one-on-one again.

Take Nick Lachey for example, his and Jessica’s was quite an intense relationship. They got married, both their careers were soaring, they aired their dirty laundry to the world on reality TV. And it seems that Nick might still be smarting over the breakup. We all know that “breaking up is hard to do” especially in the public eye.

So, Nick is coping by dating several girls at once, perhaps each would like to be his main squeeze but he is not a’ choosing and probably won’t for quite awhile. Sometimes he hangs with Miss Kentucky, sometimes its Kristin Cavalleri and other times its grooving with Vanessa Minnillo and those are just the ones we know about.

I think Nick is doing the exact right thing by playing the field. However, he definitely needs to follow some playing the field etiquette so that he doesn’t get caught with his pants down, so to speak.

1. When playing the field, you need to be upfront with all the participants. You cannot have one gal thinking she is your special honey and then she reads that someone else is.

2. You need to put the kibash on the situation as soon as one of the participants gets too clingy or asks for too much- you don’t need to a stalker or an insanely jealous girl in your rotation.

3. You need to keep in mind why you are playing the field- to get over your ex and get to a place where you feel good about yourself and moving forward. Hence spend some time licking your wounds and understanding what went wrong in the past

4. Playing the field should not include playing with your ex. You can never move forward if you are stuck in the past.

5. Be open and ready to give up the field if and when someone really special turns up in your life.

SOME MORE DATING THOUGHTS...



SOME MORE DATING THOUGHTS....

1. Men take longer to want to become exclusive in a relationship than women do.

2. There are no supposed to’s in dating.

3. It usually takes four seasons to determine if a person is appropriate for you for the long term.

4. Vacation relationships do not always translate to real world relationships.

5. Normal men want sex all the time and will never rebuke a naked woman.

6. Sometimes the more social you are, the more alone you feel.

7. If you find someone who has 85% of the things you want in a mate, run don’t walk to the altar.

8. If you are always looking for the bigger better deal you might miss the person standing in front of you.

9. If the only reason you want to get married is to have a baby, consider going to a sperm bank.

10. If you are not good in social settings, think about alternative ways of trying to meet people.

11. You cannot be objective about a person you are romantically interested in.

12. You should only buy trendy clothes if the trends look good on you, otherwise you are doing yourself a disservice.

13. Never give up on love.

14. Girls love to obsess over men. They love to call a half dozen friends and repeat the same story over and over to get different reads on the circumstance. They continue to do this until they hear an interpretation that they like.

15. Men like women who have something going on and who aren’t waiting by the door when they walk in. Its good to be independent and let a guy know that you have your own life but you also have room in that life for him.

WHY ARE MEN ATTRACTED TO CRAZY WOMEN?



















A lot of women have been asking me why men seem to always be attracted to the crazy lune women and they pass over the stable grounded more normal ones. I would have to agree that I see this quite often indeed. I hear it all the time. Last week I spoke to guy on the phone, he told me he really wants to hire me but he is in a pseudo relationship right now that he is trying to end. I asked him about it. He said that they have great sex but she’s crazy and he knows it but the crazier she acts the more addicted he gets. He knows that he can’t marry a crazy girl which is why he is interested in hiring a matchmaker but he is having trouble getting her out of his system.

So… why is it?

I think that crazy translates into a bigger “chase” and if we take it back to the cavemen days, men love to chase. I think men find that crazy women keep them all kilter make them always work to have them, make them wonder what’s happening and somehow present the ultimate challenge.

You might then ask, should all women act crazy to get a man?

My answer would have to be no and yes. First, of course my answer is no—eventually men get over wanting a truly crazy lunatic woman. When does that happen- when they have really been put thru the ringer by a nutty woman, one they married or one they dated. Most men will experience that one awful time and then they will finally say they are finished, they need someone more normal.

So, it’s good to be normal. However, it good to “throw some crazy in”, meaning….

Wear sexier underwear then you usually do, or don't wear any underwear at all!
Grab your guy at a party, pull him into the stairwell and do something naughty and unexpected to him,
Don’t always be available when he asks you for plans,
Be mysterious sometimes about where you are going,
Don’t always be the one to give in during a fight.

In this way, you are wife material but a little exciting as well- you need to let those guys chase a bit, after all they still have some monkey in them!!

CHEMISTRY- SHOULD WE GIVE IT A SECOND CHANCE?


What do we think of giving someone a second chance, a second date to see if we missed something, some feeling, some connection the first time around?

I think most people are divided into two camps on this one.... One camp of people thinks that chemistry is either there or it's not, it's instantaneous and it can't grow. The other camp of people think that over time, someone can go from not having that "loving feeling" to having it if they become more comfy with the person, find that they have a lot of things in common with the person etc.

I have found that most men are in the former camp- it's either there or it's not for them- they either feel like they want to jump the girl's bone within the first 30 seconds of meeting them or game over. This might sound a little harsh- but a lot of guys really think about this way- they meet the girl, they think to themselves... "Could I possibly, on some day, in some universe have sex with this woman?" If the answer is yes or probably yes then he will notice other things about her- is she fun, is she smart, do they have things in common etc. But if his answer is no, he usually doesn't get to know the full package because he doesn't see it going anywhere and most guys are not looking for new friends.

Women on the other hand, tend to be more patient in the chemistry department- they might initially think that the guy is unattractive or not sexual attractive to them, but then a woman can have a conversation with the guy- she might find him funny or smart or that they have a lot in common and then all of a sudden she looks up from her bite of spaghetti and she will see that same guy now as a cute guy, a guy she could actually kiss. I hear this again and again from women. Sometimes, of course, it doesn't matter how interesting a person is, you just might not have the urge to jump in the sack with them.

Now what about giving someone a second date chance? What if the first date was just okay, does a second date make sense? I usually advise my clients who are on the fence about a second date to go- it can't hurt and sometimes first dates are difficult. Plus, I have had two couples get married after I insisted that they go on a second date even though one of them was vehemently saying he or she didn't want to go. I pushed (I can be very convincing!) they went and low and behold, with a little vino and some good conversation, feelings changed and they found that they did in fact feel that chemistry between them.

And another thing I recommend when someone is on the fence.... go in for the kiss.... Sometimes, a kiss is just a kiss but sometimes a kiss can rock your world and you can find yourself so super attracted to someone because of it. So... I tell people who are iffy about someone, to try one kiss- maybe it will do the trick...

Thoughts?

DATING ETIQUETTE QUESTION- TEXT OR PHONE CALL?


Question---

Guy goes out on a pseudo date with a girl- maybe it was a date, maybe it was a friendship thing, it was unclear. They go to dinner, drinks, a fun time had by both.

Next day, girl wants to say thank you, after all that's the polite thing to do.

So.... the question--- text message or phone call?

Let's evaluate.... text message- it gets the job done but in a passive more girl-like way; phone message- a possibility but a little more forward, a little more guy like behaviour.

I vote for the text message however, some guys have been saying otherwise.

Comments??????

CHOOSING A WIFE...





SO FUNNY----
Choosing a wife
>
>
>A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
>
>The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon
>gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very
>nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more
>attractive for him because she loves him so much.
>
>The man was impressed.
>
>The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set
>of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive
>clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent
>all the money on him because she loves him so much.
>
>Again, the man is impressed.
>
>The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several
>times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the
>remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for
>their future because she loves him so much.
>
>Obviously, the man was impressed.
>
>The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the
>money he'd given her.
>
>Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.
>
>Men are like that, you know.
>
>There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today
>than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be
>a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and
>absolutely no recollection of what to do with them !!!!!

Thoughts?