Matchmaker in the Know: Finding Romance in Turkey

Have you ever wondered where to find romance in Turkey?

Here’s what I know…

1. Don’t let the name of this wonderful country fool you, Turkey is definitely for lovers!

2. The easiest way to get from place to place is flying Turkish Air. Yes, they use some little planes but fear is always a good way of revving up romantic connection.



3. Istanbul, Turkey’s most famous city rivals cities like Paris and Buenos Aires as a “must see” city- the temperature, the nightlife, and the wonderful food makes for a very romantic vacation.

Don’t forget to take in an electric club like Reina that goes until 4am. , a restaurant like Ulas 29, that has unbelievably romantic views of the entire city and has a Sommelier that is one of the most knowledgeable I have encountered or a restaurant like

Zuma that hails from Hong Kong and London and where you have the wind from the water edges blowing through your hair and the most delicious dumplings you have ever tried.

4. Additionally in Istanbul, choose a hotel right on the Bosphorus like the beautiful Ciragan Palace, Kempinski Hotel so that you can glaze out onto the water and whisper sweet nothings. Don’t forget to go for a walk along the water so you can see the all the beautiful manicured gardens and watch the sleek boats go up and down the waterways.

5. If you like see indigenous countryside, do not miss Cappadocia. This tiny region is built completely out of caves but don’t worry I didn’t see any flying bats! Romance is at its best at the Anatolian Houses, especially if you are a wine drinker since they have a spicket in the wall that dispenses complimentary Turkish wine all day long. Don’t forget to do a his and hers Turkish bath; this is sensuality at its best!

6. As for beach relaxation, Turkebuku on the Bodrum Peninsula makes St Tropez and Ibiza seem like yesterdays old news. The Turkbuku weather is 78 and sunny every day, there is an amazing happy hour with famous European DJs (you can get them to make you a CD of their tunes) and then there is the swimming right off the deck of the hip Maca Kizi Hotel, on the water’s edge which is not to be missed. For accommodations, the Ev Hotel, with its legendary views of the entire town and private swimming pools is the way to go if you are trying to find seclusion, away from the hustle and excitement of the Turkbuku nightlife and trying to recapture the romance in your relationship.

7. Additionally, if shopping is the way to your honey's heart, the Shopping in Turkbuku is not to be believed as the stores and the open air market stays open until 5am! Imagine having bottle service at a club like Ships Ahoy, dancing till the wee hours to both Eastern and Western sensual music and then topping off the evening with a purchase of a sexy little dress, or a gorgeous bauble from a store like Gasia, right on the water’s edge. You will have your lady eating out the palm of your hand!

Follow Samantha on twitter- www.twitter.com/matchmakerSD

Matchmaker in the Know: Romance in Costa Rica

Have you ever wondered where to find romance in Costa Rica?

Here's what I know...

1. Anytime there is a heart racing, death defying activities like Zip lining (check out the Sky Tram zips), there is going to be romance. The fear factor alone makes people hug, caress and lend support.

2. Women love butterflies and the butterflies are abundant in Costa Rica. Don't miss the Butterfly Farm on the way from Arenal to San Jose.

3. Stay at a hotel like the Springs Spa and Resort in Arenal. There are 19 natural hot springs, neon red, blue and yellow birds on your balcony, a straight-shot view of the volcano and plenty of little hideaways to get all cozy and intimate -- a surefire way to revitalize your romance.

4. Think about splurging for luxury at the Four Seasons Papagayo, where you can find peace and tranquility which will give you time to reconnect with your beau.

5. Think about going on a long horseback ride to the La Fortuna Waterfalls and having a picnic; nature is always a sure way of resurrecting romance.

6. In Costa Rica, you can fly from destination to destination on a small plane, but it's just as easy and far more scenic to rent a car or hire a driver to take you across the countryside. One of the most romantic drives is from Arenal to Monteverde, it's about 4 hours, and you can bond over the music, fight over the directions and before you know it, arrive to your next vacation destination.

7. If you want to plan a romantic trip to Costa Rica but you feel like you are "all thumbs" when it comes to romance, don't be a typical guy, go ahead and ask for some help from the professionals like Memorable Costa Rica. Your honey will think you are a rockstar for the effort and your chance for romance will skyrocket.

8. Try surfing on the Guanacaste Gold Coast. She will don a sexy bikini; you both can frolic in the crystal blue waters and share the excitement of getting up on the board. What could be more romantic than that?

Samantha Daniels is a well known Professional Matchmaker, President of Samantha's Table Matchmaking and the author of Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern Day Matchmaker (Simon & Schuster). Follow Samantha Daniels on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Matchmakersd

Matchmaker in the Know: Bad Dating behavior that you should not tolerate

Do you ever feel like you put up with so much bad behavior when you are dating that you can't even remember what it is like to date someone good?

Here's what I know:

1. It's easy to excuse a lot of bad behavior if you really like someone, however, you need to always remember to likeyourself better than you like him. If he is treating you very poorly, you are just doing an injustice to yourself.

2. If a guy likes you, he will call you on the phone to ask you out. It is easy to rationalize that the norm these days is to doing everything by text. However, if he is a good guy, he will step up and do things out of the norm for you. You deserve this.

3. A guy should not be talking to you about all the other women he is dating. You might rationalize that this is his way of seeming cool, popular or desired but there are other ways for him to demonstrate this without making you question whether or not he likes you. There is no reason for you to have to suffer through his story about the woman he wined and dined last night.

4. A guy should not make you feel bad about ordering dessert. It is completely inappropriate for him to chide you about eating dessert because he thinks you need to lose weight. Your body and your dieting is your responsibility and you get to choose what you eat, not him. You do not have to tolerate him making you feel fat; you deserve better than this. You need to find a man who loves you for what you are and what you are not and is excited to share dessert with you on a date NOT take it away from you.

5. A guy with whom you are intimate should not be sleeping with other women and flaunting it to you. First of all, truthfully, do you really want to be having sex with someone who is having sex with other people as well? I know it's easy to rationalize that this is what adults do, however, not all adults sleep around. Many adults still hold sex as a sacred thing and they only do it with someone they care about and they do it with only person at a time. If you are this type of woman, you should hold out for a man that has similar beliefs to you; these men are still out there. Go find one.

6. A guy should not make you feel badly about wanting to use a condom when you are having sex. You are in control of your own body. If you do not want to be at risk for AIDS, STDS and pregnancy , then it is your right to protect yourself. Don't feel that you have to compromise your morals, your beliefs or your own safety. It is not fair for a man to pressure you to not use a condom if you want to use one. Does sex feel better without one?Maybe, but it can feel just as fine with one as well. Moreover if he claims that he loses his erection only because of the condom, he is lying. Go find a guy who will respect your beliefs and who can get it up.

7. A guy should not be be asking you out at the very last minute and expect you to be available. It is only an excuse when he says that he is so busy that he can never make plans in advance. Contrary to the BS he is throwing at you, when his mother is coming into town, he finds a way to make plans in advance, when he gets invited to a guy's night out at a steak house, he find s a way to make plans in advance and when a girl that he is crazy about demands that he schedule plans in advance or he won't get to see her, he finds a way to make plans in advance. He will only respect you and do what you ask, if you respect yourself and demand that respect. If he can't find a way to make plans in advance with you, then you need to go find a guy who likes you enough to schedule plan with you. Do not accept these bad excuses.

Samantha Daniels is a well known Professional Matchmaker, President of Samantha's Table Matchmaking and the author of Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern Day Matchmaker (Simon & Schuster).

Follow Samantha Daniels on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Matchmakersd

Here's what I know... Advice for Vienna, Tenley and Ali on The Bachelor

Have you ever wondered what the girls on The Bachelor are doing wrong and how one of them will really close the deal with Jake?

Here's what I know...

The girls should have spent more time singing their own virtues rather than trashing Vienna. Jake had a thing for Vienna all the way through the show. This should have been evident to the other girls simply because even after everyone trashed her to Jake, he still never sent her home. At some point, the other girls needed to realize that their time would be better spent focusing on how to make Jake fall in love with each one of them rather than trying to make him hate Vienna.

Ali was the most clueless of all when it came to understanding how and why Jake was connecting with the other women. Ali wasted time and made herself look like a fool by obsssing over how it could be possible that Jake was interested in her at the same time as being interested Vienna. Perhaps, Ali,at 25, was too young to understand thatchemistry is an intangible and a person can feel it with many types of people.

Ali made a major faux pas leaving the show because of her job. No one's job, especially not one held by a 25 year old would ever be that important that someone would risk losing the love of their life. And what man is going to take a girl back who leaves him on national TV? A guy has his pride. The real question is was Ali the one who was getting sent home anyway and the show just staged or exaggerated the whole "work thing" to add drama to the show?

The girls should spend some time fixing the "missing link" between each one of them and Jake. For example, Vienna should realize that her sexual chemistry with Jake is not the issue and she should spend more time trying to connect intellectually and emotionally with him than getting into his bed. And, Tenley should realize that the sex is the big question mark for Jake with regard to her and she should be thinking about to putting outand fast!

The girls should be sizing up the competition and making sure that they let Jake know that whatever the other girl is bringing to the table, that she too has those same virtues. For example, it's clear that Jake likes Tenley because she has old fashioned values and seems very family oriented, so Vienna should be finding ways of letting Jake know that even though she is sarcastic and flirty, that she too has smalltown values. Just the same, Tenley should be sizing up Jake's connection with Vienna and she should be letting him know that she is a sweet, good girl but she can also be playful and fun.

The girl's should be asking Jake a lot more questions about who HE is as a person and about his values and virtues since they are thinking about spending the rest of their lives with him. Jake has been asking a lot of questions of the girls but they haven't been doing the same. The girls have been getting really caught up in winning, the drama and the chemistry. Now it's time to ask Jake some of the real questions on their minds like what life will really be like after the cameras and the hoopla is gone. It's better to know upfront if your ideals and values really mesh than find out later on when it's too late.

The girls should be suspect of a man who says he has fallen in love with 3 women at the same time. Love just doesn't come that easily. Sure, Jake can be lustingafter all the women, but love is not a feeling to be thrown around so loosely. The girls should be asking about the depth of his feelings for each one of them because if he can "fall in love" so easily and with so many women, how do they know that he won't fall "out of love" just as quickly???

Samantha Daniels is a well known Professional Matchmaker, President of Samantha's Table Matchmaking and the author of Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern Day Matchmaker (Simon & Schuster).

Matchmaker in the Know: Avoiding Valentine's Day Pitfalls

Have you ever wondered if there are things you might do on Valentine's Day that will kill the night and send your relationship spiraling?

Here's what I know...

Valentine's Day is the one of the biggest breakup days of the year. As surprising as this may sound, it is true. People go into the holiday with too many expectations and as a result, the emotions run rampant. Do not let your relationship fall into this trap.

You need to refrain from having any relationshipy, "what is happening between us" conversations on your Valentine's Day date. On Valentine's Day, romance is always in the air and this will invariably draw you closer together so don't bring up that conversation and drive you both apart. He will be very resentful if he plans a magical evening for you and then you "start with him" about those things on your mind. Save it for another night.

You always need to say thank you for your gift, even if you hate it. Keep in mind that regardless of what he actually got you, your beau went out of his way to get you something. And even if it is "so not you", even if it's a polyester sweater, a gift certificate to a discount store or even his college letterman jacket from 20 years ago, you still need to say thank you and be appreciative. Remember, he thinks it sweet, nice and/or sentimental, even if you don't.

You need to acknowledge your boyfriend's efforts no matter how little or how lame they might seem to you. Even if he shows up with daisys from the supermarket and a very basic greeting card, he still tried and he is still showing up and taking you out. Keep in mind that men are not romantic by nature so any little thing that they do to try to create romance for you on Valentine's Day is sweet. If you don't praise him for the effort , he will hesitate before making that effort again.

You need to let him make the plans for the evening if he offers. Even if he picks a restaurant that you have already eaten in 5 times or if he chooses a restaurant that you hate, you still need to graciously go. If you rebuff his suggestion or take over the plans, you will stripping him of his confidence that he can make plans for you that you will like. This could be irreversible and he might not step up again.

You need to dress sexy, even if it's freezing outside or you were dealing with screaming children all day. His effort for you is planning that special and romantic evening, so your effort for him is to get decked out so he can show you off and so he can see that you care.

You need to don some sexy lingerie. Now this doesn't mean that you need to wear something out of a Fredericks of Hollywood catalog; a matching bra and panties can be fine. However, keep in mind that Valentine's Day night is definitely a hook up night-; he pours on the romance and in return you both get naked or at least closer to naked than you have in the past. He will appreciate it if he find some sexy lace under your clothes when the time comes for the nookie to start.

You need to make certain that you don't get upset even if he doesn't propose to you. Keep in mind that a lot of people do, in fact, get engaged on Valentine's Day, so there is a chance that if you are in a romantic restaurant you might see someone else get engaged. If this occurs, you need to keep your emotions in check or you might blow your chance at your own proposal in the future. Take the high road, congratulate the other happy couple and have continue to have a fun Valentine's night with your honey.

Samantha Daniels is a well known Professional Matchmaker, President of Samantha's Table Matchmaking and the author of Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern Day Matchmaker (Simon & Schuster).

Matchmaker in the Know: The proper Valentine's Day gifts

Do you ever feel stumped when it comes to celebrating Valentine's Day and picking the right gift or card?

Here's what I know...

- Keep in mind that if you are dating someone, you need to acknowledge Valentine's Day in some way. If you try to pull the ol', "Valentine's Day is just a Hallmark holiday and I don't believe in it," you will just end up in the doghouse. Trust me.

- Valentine's Day can be a tricky holiday because you want to do enough so that you get brownie points for effort but you don't want to do too much or go over the top because that could scare someone off or give the wrong message. Doing enough means doing something, anything, even if it's stopping at the Food Emporium Supermarket on the way home and picking up candy and flowers. Doing too much means putting on the full court press for someone you barely know with flowery love cards, and dinner at the most romantic restaurant in the city like One if By Land, Two if By Sea.

- You need to give gifts and cards that are commensurate with the level of your relationship. This means that if you have only been out a few times, you need to pick a Shoebox Greeting card that is more playful, sarcastic and funny rather than mushy gushy. In this instance, mushy gushy will make things awkward and give off the wrong message. Just the same, if you have been dating a long time, you can't get away with a funny card or an impersonal card and you can't get away with just signing your name. If you have been together for awhile, your beau is going to expect a sentimental card, a Hallmark card that has script font and with a handwritten message in it from you.

- Keep in mind that women always compare their Valentine's Day gifts, cardsand experiences with their friends and colleagues. The women always do a play by play for each other, so you need to step up. You definitely don't want your gal to be the gal by the water cooler who has nothing to brag about. You need to give her something to cluck over. And the water cooler winners are not always the ones who get the most expensive gift or were taken to the fanciest dinner. The admired woman by the water cooler is always the one who tells the most romantic story about her Valentine's Day evening that is met with the most "Ohhhhhs and Ahhhhs" about how sweet and adorable you were. Can you be that guy?

- Lingerie is a risky gift. A lot of men want to give lingerie to their ladies. First of all, they like seeing their gal in it and secondly, they think this is a good way to signal to their gal that they think she is sexy. However, if you are thinking of buying lingerie, make sure you are at the "lingerie" stage of your dating or the girl might get offended and think it is an inappropriate sexual overture. Equally, make sure that you pick tasteful lingerie- if you pick out a raunchy teddy straight from the pages of Hustler, your girl might think you don't respect her. You can only go with sleazy lingerie if sleazy and edgy is part of your sexual repertoire with your gal; don't use Valentine's Day to change things up.

- Make sure to choose a gift that your beau would like, not just something thatyou would like. For example, don't get her tickets to a Sixers basketball game rationalizing that it's a night out for the two of you and at least you get to see some basketball. Instead you should get her tickets to a Broadway show like Wicked that SHE would enjoy and you should go along with a big smile on your face. And girls, don't get him a manicure and pedicure for Valentine's Day because you think he has grody feet and you think of it as a "pampering day"; men don't find pampering to be enjoyable. Instead, buy him a day at Skip Barber race track and save the hygiene intervention for another day.

- Make sure you choose a gift that has something romantic and thoughtful about it and isn't just practical. Don't buy her a new blow-dryer because you know she needs one or a gift certificate to her yoga studio. Take the time to pick out a gift she would like and wouldn't buy herself. And think about going to yoga class with her; she will find this to be romantic

- If you can't spend a lot of money, go with a creative and sentimental gift. Some good ideas are things like a handmade gift certificate redeemable for one back massage or a gift certificate redeemable for 5 "non- veto-able" movie choices. Or sprinkle rose pedals and Hershey kisses all over the bedroom and have a bubble bath drawn in a candle lit bathroom. Or make a mix CD of all of your honey's favorite songs but remember it's about his or her favorites, not yours! Gifts don't have to be expensive to be romantic.

Samantha Daniels is a well known Professional Matchmaker, President of Samantha's Table Matchmaking and the author of Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern Day Matchmaker (Simon & Schuster). Follow Samantha on Twitter- http://www.twitter.com/matchmakerSD

Here's what I know... Men like women who act like women.

Have you ever wondered what type of women, men really like??

Here's what I know...

1. Men like women who act like women. This does not mean that you need to act like a frail woman or a Stepford wife, but it means that you should act in such a way so that he feel like he is the man and you are the woman.

2. Men like women who let a man help them. Men need to feel needed whether it's in a small way- changing a light bulb or answering a question for you or whether it's in a larger way- coming to your rescue in a bad situation or calming you down when you are freaking out. If you make him feel like you don't need him at all, he will leave you.

3. Men like women who act flirty. Flirting is the most important thing about male/female interaction- it's the best part of the "game." If you don't know how to flirt, it's important that you learn.

4. Men like women who giggle. This does not mean that you need to act like a "ditz," but keep in mind that the definition of a giggle is "a flirty laugh" and giggling tells the guy two things--that you think he's funny and that you like him because you are flirting with him through your laugh.

5. Men like women who dress like a woman. Men like women in dresses- they just do. You can make any excuse you want about thinking you look better in pants, but a guy will always appreciate and admire a woman in a dress.

6. Men like women who allow a man act like a man, women who let him watch football with the guys, have a guys night out once in awhile, even belch inappropriately from time to time. If you emasculate your guy, he will either turn into a guy who you won't respect or he will leave you because he will wind up not respecting himself.

Here's what I know... Women notice the little things you do or don't do.

Did you ever wonder what are the things upon which women judge you?

Here's what I know...

1. She notices if you suggest she come to a place right near you for the date, a place that is nowhere near her and then you don't offer to go pick her up. And on top of that, you make no apology for this lack of consideration.

2. She notices if you tip under 20 percent because the norm is 20 percent.

3. She notices if you don't tip on liquor because everyone tips on liquor.

4. She notices if you get out of the taxi first, don't offer to escort her home and then don't offer to pay to get her home.

5. She notices if you talk about yourself all night long and never even remember to ask her one question about her.

6. She notices if you check out every girl who walks in the door, even the ugly ones; she's not blind you know!

Here's what I know... This is chemistry

Have you ever wondered what chemistry is and whether or not you are experiencing it with the person you are dating?

Here's what i know...

1. Chemistry is when you feel this involuntary need to touch or kiss the other person and you feel like you can't stop yourself from doing it.

2. Chemistry is when 4 hours passes and it feels like 15 minutes

3. Chemistry is when you eat food at a restaurant but you don't really remember if it was good or bad because you were more focused on the connection.

4. Chemistry is when you go home after seeing someone feeling like you took a drug because you are having a dopamine rush .

5. Chemistry is when you know deep down that this person might drive you crazy once in awhile, but will keep you interested for a lifetime.

6. Chemistry is when you just feel a pull to someone- a crazy feeling that you can't explain even when you don't think that person is right for you or even when you don't want to feel it.

7. Chemistry is not when you are not forcing conversation and trying to figure out activities to do with someone because you are fearful for that one on one time where you will have to admit that there is no real chemistry.

Check out the movie- Mr and Mrs Smith with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie- the chemistry there was crystal clear, so much so that he left his wife for it!

Here's what I know... Music is a good indicator of connection

Have you ever wondered if it matters that you and your beau have radically different music tastes?

Here's what I know...

(1) Connection can come from anything, but the more things you have in common, the more intense the relationship is going to be.

(2) Music can provide a really fun connection between two people, especially when you both feel comfortable enough to sing the words to the tunes outloud and off-key to each other!

(3) A good old-fashioned music concert with a band you both love is great foreplay!

(4) Even if he likes Led Zeppelin and you like Barry Manilow, but you both love Earth Wind and Fire and Fleetwood Mac, you have it made!

(5) If your music taste is not exactly the same, when you going on a trip in the car, you need to agree upfront that you will alternate music choices.

(6) Music is a hobby so it is not critical that you have the same taste in it, but it is important that you are open to exploring each other's taste.

Here's what I know... The kiss is key.

Do you ever wonder just how important the kiss is when you are dating?

Here's what I know...

(1) If you have an excellent kiss together, chances are, sex will be really good as well.

(2) Kissing is the best foreplay especially if you both are very into it.

(3) Girls like to kiss more than guys do, so if he wants to kiss you and kiss you and kiss you, be confident that he is very attracted to you.

(4) Some people kiss well immediately and some people have to perfect their kiss. It's like dancing, you have to find your rhythm with each person.

(5) If you are kissing a slobber king, and you feel like you need a shower on your face after every kiss, in a nice way, show him how nice it is not to lick faces, show him other things that are just as good. Be patient with him especially if you like him.

((6) If you think that you and your guy kiss okay, but not great, or if you want your kiss to get even hotter than it already is, try kissing in a private, yet not so private place. The danger element will surely heat things up.



If you haven't seen Hitch with Will Smith, you should go rent it now! Hysterical!

Here's what I know... Sometimes friends cross the line with your boyfriend.

Have you ever watched in wonderment as one of your female friends crosses the line with the guy you are dating?

Here's what I know...

(1) You need to be honest with yourself and decide if you are an overly jealous and sensitive person or if it is obvious that your friend is crossing the line.

(2) It would be appropriate for your friend to say hello to him at a party and having a 2 to 5 minute conversation with him. It would be inappropriate for her to corner him for 30 minutes with her "come hither" eyes batting away.

(3) It would be appropriate for her to include him on a group email or an email to both of you. It would be inappropriate for her to email him directly and asking him a question about the two of you that she could have just as easily asked you directly.

(4) It would be appropriate for her to let him buy her a drink. It would be inappropriate for her to assume that she is "his second girlfriend" and that he will buy her dinner every time you all go out.

(5) If you do have a friend who is crossing the line in this area, you need to think about whether she is really your friend, your frenemy or just after your guy.

(6) If you think that your friend is crossing the line and you are not certain that she is doing it on purpose, have a conversation with her. She might learn something about proper behaviour and you might save a friendship.

Here's what I know... Girls still want a polite and gallant guy.

Have you been wondering if chivalry is dead?

Here's what I know...

1. Polite is polite- you don't have to be over the top like standing up every time she goes to the bathroom, but basic politeness goes a long way.

2. Girls notice if you open her car door for her or just head straight to the driver's side.

3. Girls notice if you allow her to go through the door to a restaurant first or if you plow through.

4. Girls notice if you buy a drink for her friend as well as her when you are trying to impress her.

5. Girls notice if you offer to go with her to help her get her towed car instead of just saying good luck.

6. There are men out there who are still very chivalrous- girls notice them, remember them and like them. Why not be one of those guys?

Here's what I know.. You need to marry "a man."

Have you ever thought to yourself that you just wish he could step up and be a man?

Here's what I know...

(1) Men mature more slowly than women do. This is a fact.

(2) Men don't really get "it" unless they haven't experienced "it" in quite the same way as you have.

(3) Men who have never real been in love, don't really understand what love is and you need to figure out how to teach them or the relationship is doomed.

(4) Flirting and game playing is fun and good foreplay, but in order to get into a real relationship there has to be more than that.

(5) Men who are very surface and do not even try to dig deeper are not for you. The man you are going to marry is going to get down and dirty with you.

(6) Men who can't handle real raw emotions and a little drama are not for you. You need a guy who will cry with you, want to listen to everything about you and want to really understand all there is to know.

Here's what I know...The "break-it off conversation" is difficult.

Did you ever notice that a "break if off" conversation never goes the way you want it to?

Here's what I know...

(1) There are two sides to every story and during a break it off conversation those sides are usually very different.

(2) It is very difficult to not get defensive during a conversation of this nature and if you did get defensive, you shouldn't feel badly, the other person knows why you acted that way.

(3) If you wanted to say that you were sorry and to ask nicely for a second chance and you didn't because your pride got in the way, you can always say that now. If you were with a good person,they should be willing to listen.

(4) Break ups are very rarely final the first time around. If someone cared about you enough to be in it with you and then to break it off with you instead of just blowing you off, then that person should be willing to explore, at least once, if there is still something there or if there is a way to rectify, simplify or alter things.

(5) Even if your feelings got hurt by the person's honesty and you had that "stinging" feeling, try to learn from what they said and effect positive change in your life.

(6) If you think there was a miscommunication or you were judged unfairly or incorrectly, re-open the dialogue and calmly try to explain how you are feeling. If you were with a good person, they should be willing to listen and explore.

(7) If someone cuts you off at the knees and gives you no wiggle room at all, you should be wondering about their ability to connect and their desire to be in a good and communicative relationship because no one's perfect and those that can't realize that all humans have some flaws will go out on hundreds of date and have trouble ending up with someone long term.

PS- Maybe go rent The Break Up with Vince Vaughn and Jen Aniston, so you can add a little comic relief to the situation!

Here's what I know... Slow and steady wins the race.

Didn't you used to think that the only person you could fall in love with was the person who you have this instantaneous, "I need to see you every minute of every day" attraction to?

Here's what I know...

(1) Relationships that start off fast and furiously almost always crash and burn.

(2) Slow and steady relationships might just be slow and steady, but if you think about all the time you have wasted dating people who are wrong for you, isn't it worth it to give time to a slow and steady one that has real potential?

(3) Fast and furious relationships almost always have a sexual component too quickly. Sex should be sacred, especially with the person you are going to marry. It's okay if you wait a bit to do it. And it's a good sign if both people think that way.

(4) Most married people you will talk to will tell you that the dating they did with their spouse was different from any other relationship they had ever had. Most will tell you that they weren't exactly sure in the beginning, but there were ingredients there that made them stick around and build something substantial.

(5) If someone is crazy about you and thinks you are terrific before they know you are terrific, you should be suspicious.

(6) Fast and furious relationships go full speed ahead without looking at if two people have the building blocks for a solid relationship- respect for each other, laughter, similar intelligence and similar values. Then once the excitement wears off a bit, most people will realize that those key ingredients were not there, and the relationship will crash and burn.

(7) A slow and steady relationship should not scare you, it should excite you. There is something to be said for a relationship that stays its course and where you learn something new and different about the person all the time. It takes time to build the right relationship.

Here's what I know... If you get invited, you go!

Do you sometimes feel like you would rather just sit home alone and watch TV, rather than be disappointed in a social setting yet again?

Here's what I know...

(1) My grandmother always told me that "if you get invited, you go because you never know who you are going to meet." These words are on the second page of my book, Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern-Day Matchmaker (Simon & Schuster) and are words to live by.

(2) If you think about it, each time you actually do leave the house, something does happen. You might not meet the man of your dreams or your wife but you might run into an old friend, make a new and interesting business contact, or just have a good laugh.

(3) If you do leave the house, make sure you do it with positive energy; otherwise you are sabotaging things before you even leave.

(4) Pick chatty, outgoing people with whom to surround yourself. These people are connectors, and they attract people in their direction; you will reap the benefits.

(5) Keep in mind that every day is different. The last four Friday nights might have been busts, but this does not necessarily mean that this Friday night will be.

(6)Let's say tonight is the night that you are going to meet "your" guy. How are you going to meet him if you don't leave the house?

(7) Get excited about the idea of possibilities. Unpredictability is what keeps life exciting!

Here's what I know...You should feel good about the relationship you are in.

Have you been thinking to yourself that there is no way that your dating situation should be making you feel so down in the dumps?

Here's what I know...

(1) When you are dating someone, you should not have to negotiate phone time or face time. They should not be able to get enough of you, all the time. And visa versa.

(2) When you are dating someone, they should want to do little sweet things for you, this might things that are as simple as planning a fun night, sending you a sweet text message or bring you one Hershey kiss but there needs to be that desire to make you feel happy and loved. And visa versa.

(3) When you are dating someone, they should want to show you off to everyone and should not have excuses as to why you can't come places all the time. And visa versa.

(4) When you are dating someone, speaking of the future, whether it's next weekend or next year should not cause a panic or a fight.

(5) When you are dating someone and you have reached "that point", you should be having sex and a lot of it. If there are excuses in this category, there is a problem.

(6) When you are dating someone, they should constantly be finding you to to be so funny, so witty and so attractive. If they don't, it's just a matter of time before they end it. And visa versa.

Here's what I know...If you have to ask if your relationship is working, you know the answer.

Have you ever noticed that when you know deep down that a dating situation is not working out that it always turns out that you are right?

Here's what I know...

(1) Deep down, we all know how it feels when things are not working. The key is to listen to what you know and walk away when you know the truth.

(2) Relationships are work but they shouldn't be a full time job. If things are harder than they are easy, it's time to look elsewhere.

(3) If you spent all last night looking for that one friend who will dissect your current dating situation exactly the way you want it to be because all your other friends have told you he's a jerk, you need to ditch the lying friend and trust your real friends because they are only looking out for your best interests.

(4) You need to access the deep recesses of your brain and remember a time when you were in a relationship that was working- how happy you were, how loved you felt, how easy it was- and then if you are not having these same feelings now, move on.

(5) It's not just women who have good intuition, it's people. If you know deep down that you are just make excuses for this person and for this pathetic situation you are calling your relationship, phone a friend, get some Ben and Jerry's and say Hasta La Vista, baby!

(6) You deserve to be with someone who loves you, respects you and wants to spend lots of time with you. If you are not getting these most basic things, it's time to go a' fishin!

Here's what I know... People will sacrifice everything to get their chance at love

Did you watch the Bachelor last night and wonder in disbelief why Jason would allow everyone in the world to think he is a jerk and why Molly would take Jason back after everything, in the end?

Here's what I know...

(1) Women want the fairytale and the dream and are willing to endure anything ,even their Prince turning into a world class jerk on national TV.

2) Women will forget that a guy broke up with them or treated them crappy when the guy comes back and says the words she was waiting to hear... "I love you" and "I want to be with you." (Molly, like any woman, went to sleep every night for the 6 weeks after her rejection by Jason praying that she would wake up from this nightmare and be back to when Jason loved her and didn't pick Melissa over her. She then arrived to the "After the Rose" episode and got her wish, so of course she said yes right away.)

3) Women don't care as much about their pride as men do. They will even be humiliated on national TV, if it means getting their man.

(4) It was okay that Jason realized that he wants to be with Molly but what was really crappy was that he had to do the breakup w Melissa on TV. Why?

(5) Even men get caught up in the idea of marriage or why else would Jason had proposed at the final rose ceremony instead of just saying in a an "unprecedented Bachelor moment" that he had genuine feelings for both and wanted to continue to date them each one and come to the "After the Final Rose" show 6 weeks later and pick his bride?

(6) It is possible to be in love with two people at the same time for different reasons however in the end you need to listen to your heart when picking "the One."