Here's what I know... Sometimes friends cross the line with your boyfriend.

Have you ever watched in wonderment as one of your female friends crosses the line with the guy you are dating?

Here's what I know...

(1) You need to be honest with yourself and decide if you are an overly jealous and sensitive person or if it is obvious that your friend is crossing the line.

(2) It would be appropriate for your friend to say hello to him at a party and having a 2 to 5 minute conversation with him. It would be inappropriate for her to corner him for 30 minutes with her "come hither" eyes batting away.

(3) It would be appropriate for her to include him on a group email or an email to both of you. It would be inappropriate for her to email him directly and asking him a question about the two of you that she could have just as easily asked you directly.

(4) It would be appropriate for her to let him buy her a drink. It would be inappropriate for her to assume that she is "his second girlfriend" and that he will buy her dinner every time you all go out.

(5) If you do have a friend who is crossing the line in this area, you need to think about whether she is really your friend, your frenemy or just after your guy.

(6) If you think that your friend is crossing the line and you are not certain that she is doing it on purpose, have a conversation with her. She might learn something about proper behaviour and you might save a friendship.

Here's what I know... there is a lid for every pot

Do you ever feel like what you are looking for in a relationship is so much deeper than what most people can handle?

Here's what I know...

(1) You are not alone; many people feel like there are very few people who really understand them.

(2) There are people out there that want to have a very deep relationship, you just need to keep on the look out for them and not settle for someone who isn't of your caliber.

(3) It usually takes a person who has had some drama, loss or difficulties in their life to make someone want to have a deeper relationship. If you are dating Mr Happy Go Lucky, it is probably going to be difficult to get him to understand you.

(4) Not everyone is for everyone. You need to find who is right for you, not obsess over who isn't.

(5) You need to make room for the possibility that someone can catch up to you in desiring a deep relationship; you just need to give them the time and the space to try.

(6) You need to be open to understanding someone else's definition of a deep relationship and see if perhaps the two of you can find a happy medium.

Here's what I know... Girls still want a polite and gallant guy.

Have you been wondering if chivalry is dead?

Here's what I know...

1. Polite is polite- you don't have to be over the top like standing up every time she goes to the bathroom, but basic politeness goes a long way.

2. Girls notice if you open her car door for her or just head straight to the driver's side.

3. Girls notice if you allow her to go through the door to a restaurant first or if you plow through.

4. Girls notice if you buy a drink for her friend as well as her when you are trying to impress her.

5. Girls notice if you offer to go with her to help her get her towed car instead of just saying good luck.

6. There are men out there who are still very chivalrous- girls notice them, remember them and like them. Why not be one of those guys?

Here's what I know.. You need to marry "a man."

Have you ever thought to yourself that you just wish he could step up and be a man?

Here's what I know...

(1) Men mature more slowly than women do. This is a fact.

(2) Men don't really get "it" unless they haven't experienced "it" in quite the same way as you have.

(3) Men who have never real been in love, don't really understand what love is and you need to figure out how to teach them or the relationship is doomed.

(4) Flirting and game playing is fun and good foreplay, but in order to get into a real relationship there has to be more than that.

(5) Men who are very surface and do not even try to dig deeper are not for you. The man you are going to marry is going to get down and dirty with you.

(6) Men who can't handle real raw emotions and a little drama are not for you. You need a guy who will cry with you, want to listen to everything about you and want to really understand all there is to know.

Here's what I know...The "break-it off conversation" is difficult.

Did you ever notice that a "break if off" conversation never goes the way you want it to?

Here's what I know...

(1) There are two sides to every story and during a break it off conversation those sides are usually very different.

(2) It is very difficult to not get defensive during a conversation of this nature and if you did get defensive, you shouldn't feel badly, the other person knows why you acted that way.

(3) If you wanted to say that you were sorry and to ask nicely for a second chance and you didn't because your pride got in the way, you can always say that now. If you were with a good person,they should be willing to listen.

(4) Break ups are very rarely final the first time around. If someone cared about you enough to be in it with you and then to break it off with you instead of just blowing you off, then that person should be willing to explore, at least once, if there is still something there or if there is a way to rectify, simplify or alter things.

(5) Even if your feelings got hurt by the person's honesty and you had that "stinging" feeling, try to learn from what they said and effect positive change in your life.

(6) If you think there was a miscommunication or you were judged unfairly or incorrectly, re-open the dialogue and calmly try to explain how you are feeling. If you were with a good person, they should be willing to listen and explore.

(7) If someone cuts you off at the knees and gives you no wiggle room at all, you should be wondering about their ability to connect and their desire to be in a good and communicative relationship because no one's perfect and those that can't realize that all humans have some flaws will go out on hundreds of date and have trouble ending up with someone long term.

PS- Maybe go rent The Break Up with Vince Vaughn and Jen Aniston, so you can add a little comic relief to the situation!

Here's what I know... Slow and steady wins the race.

Didn't you used to think that the only person you could fall in love with was the person who you have this instantaneous, "I need to see you every minute of every day" attraction to?

Here's what I know...

(1) Relationships that start off fast and furiously almost always crash and burn.

(2) Slow and steady relationships might just be slow and steady, but if you think about all the time you have wasted dating people who are wrong for you, isn't it worth it to give time to a slow and steady one that has real potential?

(3) Fast and furious relationships almost always have a sexual component too quickly. Sex should be sacred, especially with the person you are going to marry. It's okay if you wait a bit to do it. And it's a good sign if both people think that way.

(4) Most married people you will talk to will tell you that the dating they did with their spouse was different from any other relationship they had ever had. Most will tell you that they weren't exactly sure in the beginning, but there were ingredients there that made them stick around and build something substantial.

(5) If someone is crazy about you and thinks you are terrific before they know you are terrific, you should be suspicious.

(6) Fast and furious relationships go full speed ahead without looking at if two people have the building blocks for a solid relationship- respect for each other, laughter, similar intelligence and similar values. Then once the excitement wears off a bit, most people will realize that those key ingredients were not there, and the relationship will crash and burn.

(7) A slow and steady relationship should not scare you, it should excite you. There is something to be said for a relationship that stays its course and where you learn something new and different about the person all the time. It takes time to build the right relationship.

Here's what I know... If you get invited, you go!

Do you sometimes feel like you would rather just sit home alone and watch TV, rather than be disappointed in a social setting yet again?

Here's what I know...

(1) My grandmother always told me that "if you get invited, you go because you never know who you are going to meet." These words are on the second page of my book, Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern-Day Matchmaker (Simon & Schuster) and are words to live by.

(2) If you think about it, each time you actually do leave the house, something does happen. You might not meet the man of your dreams or your wife but you might run into an old friend, make a new and interesting business contact, or just have a good laugh.

(3) If you do leave the house, make sure you do it with positive energy; otherwise you are sabotaging things before you even leave.

(4) Pick chatty, outgoing people with whom to surround yourself. These people are connectors, and they attract people in their direction; you will reap the benefits.

(5) Keep in mind that every day is different. The last four Friday nights might have been busts, but this does not necessarily mean that this Friday night will be.

(6)Let's say tonight is the night that you are going to meet "your" guy. How are you going to meet him if you don't leave the house?

(7) Get excited about the idea of possibilities. Unpredictability is what keeps life exciting!

Here's what I know...You should feel good about the relationship you are in.

Have you been thinking to yourself that there is no way that your dating situation should be making you feel so down in the dumps?

Here's what I know...

(1) When you are dating someone, you should not have to negotiate phone time or face time. They should not be able to get enough of you, all the time. And visa versa.

(2) When you are dating someone, they should want to do little sweet things for you, this might things that are as simple as planning a fun night, sending you a sweet text message or bring you one Hershey kiss but there needs to be that desire to make you feel happy and loved. And visa versa.

(3) When you are dating someone, they should want to show you off to everyone and should not have excuses as to why you can't come places all the time. And visa versa.

(4) When you are dating someone, speaking of the future, whether it's next weekend or next year should not cause a panic or a fight.

(5) When you are dating someone and you have reached "that point", you should be having sex and a lot of it. If there are excuses in this category, there is a problem.

(6) When you are dating someone, they should constantly be finding you to to be so funny, so witty and so attractive. If they don't, it's just a matter of time before they end it. And visa versa.

Here's what I know...If you have to ask if your relationship is working, you know the answer.

Have you ever noticed that when you know deep down that a dating situation is not working out that it always turns out that you are right?

Here's what I know...

(1) Deep down, we all know how it feels when things are not working. The key is to listen to what you know and walk away when you know the truth.

(2) Relationships are work but they shouldn't be a full time job. If things are harder than they are easy, it's time to look elsewhere.

(3) If you spent all last night looking for that one friend who will dissect your current dating situation exactly the way you want it to be because all your other friends have told you he's a jerk, you need to ditch the lying friend and trust your real friends because they are only looking out for your best interests.

(4) You need to access the deep recesses of your brain and remember a time when you were in a relationship that was working- how happy you were, how loved you felt, how easy it was- and then if you are not having these same feelings now, move on.

(5) It's not just women who have good intuition, it's people. If you know deep down that you are just make excuses for this person and for this pathetic situation you are calling your relationship, phone a friend, get some Ben and Jerry's and say Hasta La Vista, baby!

(6) You deserve to be with someone who loves you, respects you and wants to spend lots of time with you. If you are not getting these most basic things, it's time to go a' fishin!

Here's what I know... People will sacrifice everything to get their chance at love

Did you watch the Bachelor last night and wonder in disbelief why Jason would allow everyone in the world to think he is a jerk and why Molly would take Jason back after everything, in the end?

Here's what I know...

(1) Women want the fairytale and the dream and are willing to endure anything ,even their Prince turning into a world class jerk on national TV.

2) Women will forget that a guy broke up with them or treated them crappy when the guy comes back and says the words she was waiting to hear... "I love you" and "I want to be with you." (Molly, like any woman, went to sleep every night for the 6 weeks after her rejection by Jason praying that she would wake up from this nightmare and be back to when Jason loved her and didn't pick Melissa over her. She then arrived to the "After the Rose" episode and got her wish, so of course she said yes right away.)

3) Women don't care as much about their pride as men do. They will even be humiliated on national TV, if it means getting their man.

(4) It was okay that Jason realized that he wants to be with Molly but what was really crappy was that he had to do the breakup w Melissa on TV. Why?

(5) Even men get caught up in the idea of marriage or why else would Jason had proposed at the final rose ceremony instead of just saying in a an "unprecedented Bachelor moment" that he had genuine feelings for both and wanted to continue to date them each one and come to the "After the Final Rose" show 6 weeks later and pick his bride?

(6) It is possible to be in love with two people at the same time for different reasons however in the end you need to listen to your heart when picking "the One."

Here's what I know... Men approach a certain "type" of girl at a bar

Did you ever wonder why some women get hit on in a bar or at a party while other do not?

Here's what I know...

(1) Most men think that they approach a woman because of her looks, but most of time that is just a small part of it, that is the initial draw only.

(2) Men actually wind up being "attracted attracted" to the energy or essence of the woman and many things factor into this, not just looks.

(3) Often times, a man will initially approach a group of girls because one girl in particular caught his eye. However personality and energy can change that dynamic very quickly, so always let him see your good side.

(4) Men like women who smile- this makes them glow. Men are not drawn to negative sour pusses at all. You need to believe this and if you are feeling negative, you are better off staying home.

(5) Men like women who have welcoming energy. Most men get nervous about the approach- they are afraid of getting rejected so it's much easier to approach an approachable woman.

(6) Men like women who play a little hard to get by acting a little mysterious and a little aloof but as a woman you need to know how far to take it. There is a big difference between flirty aloof and just plain bitchy and negative.

PS... Check out another blog that I really like called Single-ish. It's written by Erin Meanley of Glamour Magazine.

Here's what I know... Women pay attention to patterns of behaviour

Did you ever notice that women keep track of everything specific thing that goes on in a dating situation and men remember things more generally.

Here's what I know...

(1) Women pay attention to every little thing that happens when she is dating and she microanalyzes all of it with her friends. She knows she shouldn't do this because this is always when "her crazy" starts to rear it's ugly head, but most women can't help it.

(2) As soon as a woman "likes likes" a guy, she gets nervous that it's all going to blow up, and is constantly searching for the slightest little thing that might alert her to the fact that things are going awry, so she can be mentally prepared. When the patterns stay constant, this keeps her calm.

(3) The most common thing a woman will microanalyze is a man's pattern of behaviour- he wrote long flowing emails all last week and only one word answers this week or he made sure to ask me out 6 days in advance last week, but this week it was only the day before and then try to make the change mean "something."

(4) Immediately when a pattern of behaviour changes, a woman believes that you have changed how you feel about her and has a hard time believing that you couldn't call her or email her for 24 hours because you were crazed at work or you didn't call her when you got home from a guy's night because you passed alone, not with a bodacious blond!

(5) Women tend to keep their pattern of behaviour observations to themselves and to their "council of friends" until they can't take it anymore and then they will hit you with "the laundry list" which will always scare the crap out of you because most days, you can't remember if you put on clean socks.

(6) If you like a girl, try to stay consistent with her and if you need to change your behaviour for legitimate reasons, just clue her in. "Just wanted to let you know that I have a presentation on Friday so I won't be able to see you for the next few nights." "I am going out with my derelict college buddies, who I only see one time a year, and I will probably get wasted and pass out." Or "I am not a big sleep-over during the week guy, but I can learn." Communication can save her a lot of anxiety and save you from a big unnecessary blow-up!

Here's what I know... A woman's definition of "sweet"

Did you ever notice that a woman gets more excited about telling her friends how sweet you were than she was when you were so sweet to her?

Here's what I know...

(1) Women love sweet gestures. They make them feel all gooey inside.

(2) Sweet is different from giving an 'obligation gift" on a birthday or on Valentine's Day. Sweet is when you get her flowers on a Tuesday, "just because" or when you send her an e-card or "a special email" (instead of your usual grunted, one word answers) just to say you were thinking of her.

(3) Sweet is the thing that the girls will brag about to their friends for a very long time."How sweet is this, he figured out from an old photo album that I love purple tulips and then he scanned the city to find them because they are so rare and got them for me. I never even told him that I love purple tulips and hate red roses, he just figured it out. Isn't that soooooo sweet?!"

(4) Sweet doesn't have to be expensive or even cost anything. Think...whatever will make her and her friends say "ahhhhh!"

(5) Sweet is different than sappy or queer. Sweet is when you bring her chicken soup and leave it with her doorman. Sappy is when you fly home to bring her chicken soup or you take off a day of work to rub her feet.

(6) Sweet is different than stalkerish. Sweet is when you remember that she loves rice pudding and you drop it off to her doorman while she is at the office, so she has a pleasant surprise when she gets home. Stalkerish is when you are sitting in her lobby waiting for her with rice pudding without telling her you were stopping by!

Here's what I know... When it's "right", it shouldn't be so complicated

Did you ever notice how sometimes you are literally trying to fit a square peg into a round hole when it comes to dating, but you are just so damn close to the situation that you don't see how ridiculous and wrong it all is?

Here's what I know...

(1) He should want to see you and see you a lot; if you are trying to convince him of this, this isn't the right sitch for you.

(2) Guys love sex, especially when they first start dating you; if he doesn't attack you and a lot, this isn't the right guy for you.

(3) People who like each other, find time for each other without spreadsheets and the help of two assistants!

(4) People who like each other compromise and makes things work because they like each other.

(5) Weekends are for couples, so if you have never seen him on one, something is not right!

(6) Guys like to show off their gal to everybody when they like their gal; so if you are fighting over meeting his family, his friends or even his dog, it's too complicated or he's married, so get out!

Here's what I know... "Must-haves" go out the window when you like someone

Did you ever notice that as soon as you "like like" someone, all those "must-haves", those characteristics that you absolutely thought you needed in a life partner get rationalized away?

Here's what I know...

(1) When you "like like" someone, you will start thinking to yourself that being with someone with a full head of hair or who can ski and golf just isn't that important.

(2) When you "like like" someone, you start wondering why you thought that one quality was oh so important yesterday but now today it just doesn't see to matter, especially when he is so generous in bed or when he bought you the most thoughtful Valentine's Day gift.

(3) Once you have been dating for a long time, you realize that connection is rare, so if you find someone who has many of the things you are looking for, but not everything, you tend to overlook the missing things.

(4) You should subscribe to my "85 % rule." If you find someone who has 85 % of the things you are looking for, you should run to the altar instead of holding off for the 100 % that you will NEVER get. Keep in mind, that if you "throw back" 85% to go fish again; the next person will just be 85% again, just a different 85%.

(5) "Love" makes you forget the little stupid things that aren't really that important because you feel happy.

(6) Everyone has a list of "non-negotiables" when it comes to finding their mate, but many times several things on that list really aren't non-negotiables, they are really just "preferences" that you can rationalize away in a heartbeat when you find the right person.

Here's what I know... Guys are intimidated by Valentine's Day

Did you ever notice that when you talk to a guy about Valentine's Day, he will say that it is a girl holiday or just a Hallmark holiday and he doesn't believe in it????

Here's what I know...

(1) Valentine's Day has been scaring the be-jesus out of men for centuries.

(2) Men know that V-Day is the day they have to step up and be a little romantic- it's like when they have to sing karaoke when they have a terrible voice- if everyone is doing it, they have to as well.

(3) Men put a lot of pressure on themselves to do V-day "exactly right" and as a result most of the time they do it exactly wrong!

(4) Men don't believe their girl when she says that "it's the thought that counts" and that they don't need to do anything fancy. They don't believe her because they have "lived through" torturous Valentine's days in the past.

(5) Men don't really give a crap about Valentine's Day even if they say they do. It's like when they feign excitement about going to the opera, the dentist or a Barry Manilow concert. Hence, any effort they put forth, any effort at all, a gal should be excited about and should praise.

(6) Men can't write gushy poems, they just can't, so don't expect one and be happy if he buys you are card and signs "love." Yes, we have all heard a guy read a poem that he supposedly wrote for his girl at a wedding or birthday party, but chances are, his best female friend or his sister wrote it or he copied it off the Internet; trust me, he didn't write it himself!

Here's what I know... Women need romance on Valentine's Day

Are you a little nervous about how to romance your gal on Valentine's Day?

Here's what I know...

(1) Women love Valentine's Day and will be very upset and disappointed if you don't do something.

(2) Chances are you will never be as romantic as she wants you to be, so just try your best to be sweet.

(3) Spend time thinking about THE SPECIFIC GIRL you are dating and what she likes. Don't go buy her what your ex- girlfriend liked or what your sister would like. Buy her something she specifically would like.

(4) Be creative and thoughtful. Most women prefer this to expensive impersonal gifts. (Although a splurge gift is nice to as long as its from the heart!)

(5) Make sure you get her a Card. She is expecting one and if you don't get her one, this will cause a fight. You don't have to go all mushy, even a funny one is fine; just get one!

(6)Keep in mind that she is hoping you won't screw up but at the same time, she is actually expecting you to screw up. This is a good thing for you because the bar is very low. Just try to be romantic and she will notice and appreciate the effort!

Here's what I know... Saturday night is still considered date night

Have you ever noticed that even though there is no longer such a thing as Saturday night date night, that you still feel a little off-kilter when you don't have date on a Saturday?

Here's what I know...

(1) Most people these days don't bat an eyelash about going out alone during the week but they feel differently about it on Saturdays.

(2) People don't seem to notice if someone is alone most nights of the week, but they notice this on Saturday nights.

(3) Many women will choose to stay home on a Saturday night if their only option is to go out with the girls.

(4) Many people who have plans pretty much every night of the week often find themselves without plans on Saturday night if they aren't dating anyone. You are not alone in this.

(5) If you are dating someone, you should be taking them out on Saturday nights. If you are not, they are wondering why you are not.

(6) If you are choosing to go out with your friends on a Saturday night as opposed to on a date with someone you are seeing, you probably don't like that person all that much.

(7) Many people feel like Saturday night is "amateur night" at most bars and clubs. However, keep in mind that you can meet someone anywhere, any night of week, so be open-minded!

Here's what I know: Women date "personality"

Did you ever notice how many very pretty women date okay looking men?

Here' s what I know...

(1) Women care more about personality than looks.

(2) Women can grow to love someone if she is attracted to his personality.

(3) Women can change their mind about how attracted they are to a guy if she starts connecting with him over commonalities and interests.

(4) Women will think that a guy with a great personality is hot whether as she will pass on a great looking man who just isn't funny or interesting.

(5) Women will walk out on sex if she isn't feeling chemistry.

(6) As a guy, you are better off being funny than being handsome. However, both doesn't hurt!

Here's what I know...People make "time" for those they are "into"

Right about now, people are revisiting the notion of what "he's just not that into you" means. because the movie is hitting the theatres this week.

So here's what I know...

(1)People make time for those they like, but time can come in many different forms.

(2)Before you write-off a guy or a girl because you are not getting the traditional "face to face, uninterrupted, I love you, kiss, kiss, kiss" time you want, take a real look at the time you are getting and try appreciating that time.

(3)Time might mean taking the time to write a sweet email as opposed to a one word "grunt" answer.

(4)Time might mean taking the time to explain why one needs to go MIA or why one isn't going to be available for the next several days, a week.

(5)Time might mean remembering something silly you said once in passing and then referencing it on the phone or in an email.

(6)Time might mean answering your call for 30 seconds during a business function.

(7)Time might mean remembering to make a Valentine's reservation in the midst of working 16 hour days because one is in the middle of losing one's biggest client or trying to avoid being one of the 10,000 people one's company is laying off.

Remember.... Whether or not "he's just not that into you" is never black and white!