I was thrilled to write this piece for the New York Post
on my recent marriage . Read the full article here
Samantha Daniels is the founder of matchmaking service Samantha’s Table, author of “Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern Day Matchmaker” and the inspiration behind NBC’s 2003 show “Miss Match,” in which her life story was portrayed by Alicia Silverstone. But the 42-year-old successful NYC-based matchmaker was perpetually single – until finally getting hitched last spring. Below, she shares the story of how she finally found true love.
|Samantha Daniels and her husband Steve Farber|
Deep down, I always wondered why marriage eluded me. I give great romantic advice. I’ve helped more than 300 people get married. Yet for more than 13 years, I was known as “The Single Matchmaker,” unable to reach the promised land myself.
I was proud of my accomplishments, but I was in the same boat as all of my successful clients: I had everything I wanted in my life, except for one person with whom to share it all. That is, until last March, when I finally married my true love.
How did I ultimately land my own big fish? I went through the same dating trials and tribulations as any other single New Yorker. I hit rock bottom with the last guy I dated before I met my husband. That boyfriend told me I was beautiful and that he could see himself marrying me. But a partner at his hedge fund told him no divorced man of his “success and stature” should commit to another marriage before dating a professional model. So he promptly broke up with me and found one. I got so fed up I took myself off the dating market, lest I start hating men forever.
During my one-month dating hiatus, I finally gave myself the same kind of tough love I give my clients every day: No more eliminating guys because they didn’t meet my stringent checklist. No more turning down invitations because I didn’t think I would meet my future husband there. No more sitting back and waiting for love to come to me.
My leap back into the dating pool was tested early. My friend Lori invited me out to the Breslin at the Ace Hotel at the spur of the moment. Normally I would have declined, but I made myself follow my grandmother’s cardinal dating rule: “Go, because you never know who you are going to meet.” When I arrived, Lori was nowhere to be found. But there was a handsome man with wavy brown hair, hazel eyes and kissable lips at the bar. Old Samantha would have waited for him to approach. But Ready-To-Follow- My-Own-Rules Samantha marched up to him and said, “Hello.”
“What do you do for a living?” he asked.
“We’ll have time for business talk later,” I flirted. It turns out Steve Farber, 39, was a successful finance guy — and my future husband.
Thirty minutes later, he was staring into my eyes, saying he wanted to kiss me. In the past, I would have played hard to get, but the new me coyly said, “OK.”
I soon learned he had kids and was separated. In the past, I would have steered clear of separated dads. But I decided to give Steve a chance. Maybe he was the marrying kind.
It turns out he was. Three years later, after living together, a romantic proposal in St. Lucia and an intimate Manhattan wedding, I am a single matchmaker no longer. I gave myself a good kick in the butt, followed my own rules and decided to date like a woman who was going to get married instead of a woman who was hoping to get married. And I did.