Samantha's August Movie Pick: Savages
A great looking case |
This movie was a big deal for Lively as an actress, as it includes two lengthy sex scenes and shows her playing a totally different character to what people are used to seeing.
The ending of the movie faced criticism because of its easy way out approach. With a dark storyline, some bloody scenes and a beautiful cast, Savages is interesting and believable, and worth a visit to go see at your nearest movie theatre. Check out the times and places in New York.
Is Your Relationship Normal?
(Originally appeared in The Huffington Post, July 30, 2012.)
Everyone wants to be in a romantic relationship, and everyone has an idea in their head of what the perfect relationship should be. However, most of the time, we end up in relationships that never resemble what we thought we would have, and we start to wonder whether or not this is okay. Usually, the answer surfaces when we compare our relationship to other people's and try to figure out if ours is better, worse or the same. Of course, we can never make this determination because one never knows what goes on behind closed doors and what is actually normal. If you are wondering if your relationship is normal, here are some pointers so you can figure that out...
1. Relationships are difficult, no matter what. If someone tells you otherwise, they are lying, or they aren't in a relationship.
2. Your relationship is normal as long as it works for you and your partner. Talk to your significant other about what "normal" means to him or her. As long as the two of you are on the same page and being true to yourselves and what you really want, it doesn't matter what others think. In today's day and age, there is no normal; our society is all about "anything goes."
3. Don't get caught up in peer pressure. If marriage isn't for you, but a monogamous committed relationship is, go ahead and have that relationship. As long as you and your partner are being honest about what you both really want and you are not pressuring each other, embrace the relationship that you are choosing to have.
4. If you aren't in a relationship but you want to build a family, that is perfectly okay. Single parents are very of the norm today; if it works for you, go for it.
5. Look around you and really notice other people's relationships. Not what you imagine them to be, but what they really are. No one's relationship is perfect, so don't think that you are alone in the fact that you have some issues with yours sometimes.
6. Don't believe "the grass is greener" elsewhere. You might wish some aspect of your best friend or colleague's relationship were part of yours, but I promise, there are many aspects of other people's relationship that you would never want.
7. Spend some time being thankful for what you have, instead of wanting something different. If you focus on your own relationship, you will see how happy things there make you.
8. If you think that your relationship is not "normal," then you need to have a discussion with your significant other and figure out ways to alter it that will make you happier. You need to be true to yourself and to your feelings.
9. Everybody disagrees and argues from time to time. This is common in any relationship. Your relationship would not be a a real relationship if there weren't some rocky days. It's okay to love him one day and hate her the next; that's "normal" because relationships are challenging. They can also be very worth it.
10. As much as normal comes in all different relationship packages, keep in mind that you should be having more happy days than sad ones in your relationship. Yes it's "normal" to argue, but it is not normal to argue everyday and it is not "normal" to spend more time feeling unhappy than you do feeling happy?
An Interview With I-ELLA
The holiday of love is behind us, and if you didn't have a Valentine's this time around maybe this article will help! Matchmaker Samantha Daniels knows a lot about what it takes to find the perfect person for you (she’s helped 126 couples get married), and fashion has a lot to do with it! Check out what Samantha – also the author ofMatchbook: The Dairy of a Modern-Day Matchmaker and co-creator of the former TV series “Miss Match” – has to say about the secret to looking great and feeling great on your first date.
you should always have that go-to outfit in your closet that you know you look really good in and that you’re comfortable in, because that way, if you’re having one of those days and you don’t know what to put on, you have that to grab and you know you can put it on and you look good. At the same time, you want to pick something that’s sexy, that you feel sexy in, but that’s not too over the top.
Here's what I know... everyone has a "foot in the mouth" moment on a date.
(3) Even if the first words out of your mouth as you greeted your blind date were " Hi, wow, you look tired", instead of what you meant to say that she looked great, you can still figure out a way to recover if you just are sweet at other parts of the night.
Here's what I know... If he stopped calling you over something little, then he wasn't yours anyway.
Here's what I know...
(1) Guys don't break up with girls over little things.
(2) Once a guy decides he is attracted to you, he won't break up with you over something that only you notice- that one pimple you got on a Tuesday or the fact that you wore a bra that didn't make your boobs look as big as they usually do.
(3) Guys don't pay attention to how many "xo's" you put at the end of your text message and he certainly won't break up with you over that.
(4) Guys read emails very quickly and they don't labor over every word you wrote and what you meant by them, the way girls do. Absent your writing something really awful, he is not going to break-up with you because of your LOL or because you had too many typos.
(5) It is natural to question the last little thing you did with a guy if he ends things with you and you are not sure why. However, to find out what really went wrong, you need to dig deeper and look at the full picture and the patterns of behaviour.
(6) When you are dating someone, it's more important to learn the things that would bother HIM, not obsess about the things that would bother you that don't even register on his "notice" meter. (Example: he won't notice if the smiley face in your text was a full smile or a wink, but he will notice if you need to have a "relationship conversation" by email during work hours, when he is in his office!
Here's what I know... You should be able to "agree to disagree" if you want to be together.
Have you ever gotten into a situation with the person you are dating where you just cannot come to terms?
Here's what I know...
(1)Sometimes two people have opposing viewpoints on a subject and just cannot agree.
(2) If you care about someone, you should give them the space to have his or her own opinion and for you to have yours.
(3) Sometimes a disagreement can be healthy for a relationship as long as you can move by it.
(4) Two people will never agree on everything and this can add dimensionality to your relationship.
(5) If you have a disagreement and you cannot come to terms, you need to think about whether you can respect the other person's point of view although you don't agree w it.
(6) Perhaps you can learn something from your partner's differing viewpoint. Take a step back and try to understand how they are looking at things.
Here's what I know... You need to be with someone who loves "the real you."
Here's what I know...
(1) You are pretty damn great. You need to find that person who understands that.
(2) You need to be with someone who loves all that you are and all that you are not. Marlene told me that and it's very important.
(3) If someone is questioning who you are, have you ever stopped and asked, who are they?
(4) If you are asking why you are compromising yourself, then you are in the wrong situation.
(5) If you constantly need to hide the real you, then you aren't in the right situation.
(6) If you know deep down that you are trying to fit a square peg in to a round hole, take a step back and don't do it. Do you real want to take all this time to pick someone, only to then get divorced?
Here's what I know... The "trolling the party" guy is not ready for a real relationship.
Here's what I know...
(1) You need to take time to be in a relationship and make it work.
(2) If you want to be in a relationship, you will be willing to give up a trolling night to be with a girl you like.
(3) If a guy is not willing to give up the trolling night, chances are, he is not into you enough to forego it.
(4) A guy might say that he trolls parties because he really wants to meet someone but there is a difference between hitting the occasional party and going to the opening of an envelope!
(5) Some guys troll for sport and because it's a game to them and others troll because they think it is a necessity. Either way, do you really want to be with that guy?
(6) You have been in situations before where when a guy is crazy about you, he drops everything and can't get enough of you. If the trolling guy can't do this, it's time for another guy.
Here's what I know... Sometimes friends cross the line with your boyfriend.
Here's what I know... there is a lid for every pot
Here's what I know...
(2) There are people out there that want to have a very deep relationship, you just need to keep on the look out for them and not settle for someone who isn't of your caliber.
(3) It usually takes a person who has had some drama, loss or difficulties in their life to make someone want to have a deeper relationship. If you are dating Mr Happy Go Lucky, it is probably going to be difficult to get him to understand you.
(4) Not everyone is for everyone. You need to find who is right for you, not obsess over who isn't.
(5) You need to make room for the possibility that someone can catch up to you in desiring a deep relationship; you just need to give them the time and the space to try.
(6) You need to be open to understanding someone else's definition of a deep relationship and see if perhaps the two of you can find a happy medium.
Here's what I know... Girls still want a polite and gallant guy.
Here's what I know...
1. Polite is polite- you don't have to be over the top like standing up every time she goes to the bathroom, but basic politeness goes a long way.
2. Girls notice if you open her car door for her or just head straight to the driver's side.
3. Girls notice if you allow her to go through the door to a restaurant first or if you plow through.
4. Girls notice if you buy a drink for her friend as well as her when you are trying to impress her.
5. Girls notice if you offer to go with her to help her get her towed car instead of just saying good luck.
6. There are men out there who are still very chivalrous- girls notice them, remember them and like them. Why not be one of those guys?
Here's what I know.. You need to marry "a man."
Here's what I know...
(1) Men mature more slowly than women do. This is a fact.
(2) Men don't really get "it" unless they haven't experienced "it" in quite the same way as you have.
(3) Men who have never real been in love, don't really understand what love is and you need to figure out how to teach them or the relationship is doomed.
(4) Flirting and game playing is fun and good foreplay, but in order to get into a real relationship there has to be more than that.
(5) Men who are very surface and do not even try to dig deeper are not for you. The man you are going to marry is going to get down and dirty with you.
(6) Men who can't handle real raw emotions and a little drama are not for you. You need a guy who will cry with you, want to listen to everything about you and want to really understand all there is to know.
Here's what I know... If you get invited, you go!
Do you sometimes feel like you would rather just sit home alone and watch TV, rather than be disappointed in a social setting yet again?
Here's what I know...
(1) My grandmother always told me that "if you get invited, you go because you never know who you are going to meet." These words are on the second page of my book, Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern-Day Matchmaker (Simon & Schuster) and are words to live by.
(2) If you think about it, each time you actually do leave the house, something does happen. You might not meet the man of your dreams or your wife but you might run into an old friend, make a new and interesting business contact, or just have a good laugh.
(3) If you do leave the house, make sure you do it with positive energy; otherwise you are sabotaging things before you even leave.
(4) Pick chatty, outgoing people with whom to surround yourself. These people are connectors, and they attract people in their direction; you will reap the benefits.
(5) Keep in mind that every day is different. The last four Friday nights might have been busts, but this does not necessarily mean that this Friday night will be.
(6)Let's say tonight is the night that you are going to meet "your" guy. How are you going to meet him if you don't leave the house?
(7) Get excited about the idea of possibilities. Unpredictability is what keeps life exciting!