What do we think of giving someone a second chance, a second date to see if we missed something, some feeling, some connection the first time around?

I think most people are divided into two camps on this one.... One camp of people thinks that chemistry is either there or it's not, it's instantaneous and it can't grow. The other camp of people think that over time, someone can go from not having that "loving feeling" to having it if they become more comfy with the person, find that they have a lot of things in common with the person etc.

I have found that most men are in the former camp- it's either there or it's not for them- they either feel like they want to jump the girl's bone within the first 30 seconds of meeting them or game over. This might sound a little harsh- but a lot of guys really think about this way- they meet the girl, they think to themselves... "Could I possibly, on some day, in some universe have sex with this woman?" If the answer is yes or probably yes then he will notice other things about her- is she fun, is she smart, do they have things in common etc. But if his answer is no, he usually doesn't get to know the full package because he doesn't see it going anywhere and most guys are not looking for new friends.

Women on the other hand, tend to be more patient in the chemistry department- they might initially think that the guy is unattractive or not sexual attractive to them, but then a woman can have a conversation with the guy- she might find him funny or smart or that they have a lot in common and then all of a sudden she looks up from her bite of spaghetti and she will see that same guy now as a cute guy, a guy she could actually kiss. I hear this again and again from women. Sometimes, of course, it doesn't matter how interesting a person is, you just might not have the urge to jump in the sack with them.

Now what about giving someone a second date chance? What if the first date was just okay, does a second date make sense? I usually advise my clients who are on the fence about a second date to go- it can't hurt and sometimes first dates are difficult. Plus, I have had two couples get married after I insisted that they go on a second date even though one of them was vehemently saying he or she didn't want to go. I pushed (I can be very convincing!) they went and low and behold, with a little vino and some good conversation, feelings changed and they found that they did in fact feel that chemistry between them.

And another thing I recommend when someone is on the fence.... go in for the kiss.... Sometimes, a kiss is just a kiss but sometimes a kiss can rock your world and you can find yourself so super attracted to someone because of it. So... I tell people who are iffy about someone, to try one kiss- maybe it will do the trick...